How I’ve survived/lived since Chuck’s death on April 21, 2013… And, yes, I do keep track of how long it’s been. In days and moments and months and years. Yes, every moment of this life is defined by his death because the only reason I’m living this life as I am is because he died. […]
Dancing into Eternity~
It wasn’t just the dancing. It wasn’t just your arms around me when we danced. It was my hand enfolded in yours, as you held it close against your heart and turned us around the dance floor. It was the smile in your green eyes as you gazed down at my face lifted to yours. […]
JesusMaryandJoseph, Etc~
Raise your hand if you’re flat out exhausted and breathless and searching for words to describe the world right now. Our country right now. Your life right now. Zoned to the bone…that’s me these days. Covid-19 almost seems a dinosaur now, in the space of a week, having been taken over by the horror this […]
Living the W~
I don’t know that I have anything in me to write about tonight. I’m tired to my bones. My brain, my mind, my body, my bones. All this covid shit has just worn down my already kind of fragile sense of self. I’m tough as nails on the one hand. Sure of myself as I […]
The Oft Repeated Question~
Chuck wouldn’t want you to be sad. Don’t you think Chuck would want you to be happy? We’ve all heard this inane statement. This inane question. It doesn’t always come from the un-widowed, either. I see it frequently in the widowed community. What a pain to listen to others speak for someone they don’t even […]
Just…This…
I hope, someday, if it hasn’t already happened for you, that life allows you to experience the beautiful intimacy of fully entrusting your body, your heart, your soul, your very being, into the hands of a man who will hold it tenderly, and with care. Who will cherish the gift of all you are, and […]
Life Through a Found Object~
I have very few physical objects that have survived my 61 years, or my full time life of travel for the past 11 years. Except this one thing. This pink pic comb. I bought it back in the 70’s when I got my first perm. I was only 19 and I knew nothing about hair […]
Softly Spoken~
Stay with me, my beloved husband. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be without you in this life. Words uttered only in my heart as my hand gently touched your forehead. As my hand glided over your cheekbones, sharpened by cancer. As my two hands wrapped around your fingers, stroking your knuckles. Remembering the […]
#Hashtag Widow~
I blame most everything on #deadhusband.
Anniversary Moments…
…From all that was no longer, but from what was,
Rose…Love.
Love filled with grief and searing pain and a tightening in the chest and a heaviness of spirit and a world no longer recognizable.
But…Love in all its’ power…
The Years in Time~
I write about Time frequently.
Quite often, in fact.
It’s a subject that has fascinated me since Chuck’s death~
Our Corona~
…Welcome to the head spinning shock, disbelief, financial hurricane, numbness while feeling all the feels, terror, anxiety, fear, disorientation, discombobulation, loneliness, and generalized 100% uncertainty about the future, and every other emotion that we who are widowed experienced upon the death of our person and have lived in whatever time since their death.