Along the Path of Widowhood The cornerstone of my training as a doula comes from Birthing From Within, a process of childbirth education that originated from Pam England’s book, Birthing From Within: An Extraordinary Method of Childbirth Preparation. A few years into my training, I learned a process called Solution-Focused Dialogue. After a year’s practice […]
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I Died Too
And another grief bomb hits. Earlier this week I went on my business as I normally do. The day-to-day activities that used to feel so impossible after Erik’s passing have now just become numbingly routine. But there I was standing in the middle of a grocery store with tears down my face again. A year […]
Our Melody
I heard our wedding song this week. It was only the second time I’ve heard it in the almost two and half years since Tony died. I usually just ask Alexa to play music and let her pick the genre. Well, this particular evening she chose 90’s country instead of something like P!nk. Tony liked […]
More Signs from Don
Before Don’s sudden death on that ordinary Wednesday back in July of 2011, I am not sure if I believed in signs or energy or souls or whatever you want to call it. Even now, all these years later and after the countless times Ive felt him close or felt an obvious Don-vibe happening, I […]
The “Write Tools” for Processing Grief
When I submitted my request to present at Camp Widow in Tampa and/or San Diego to Soaring Spirits International, I had a fairly good grasp of what I wanted to achieve with my presentation. When my proposal was accepted, however, I began to worry if what I had in mind would be beneficial to those […]
Outlets for our Grief
There are so many ways that I cope and deal with my grief, and it has evolved over time, and I have needed different things as other life stressors and changes have happened. I was already in therapy when Boris died, and I increased the number of times I was going, plus added an additional […]
Lola Turns Three
Lee died during the height of the pandemic, which the philosopher, Jonathan Lear, refers to as “the year of isolation,” long months before a vaccine was developed. (See https://news.uchicago.edu/why-mourning-essential-our-well-being-jonathan-lear.) It was a time of unprecedented uncertainty about our future. Everyone felt it. Not coincidentally, the pandemic also created unprecedented demand for animal companions. Suddenly breeders […]
Poet in Lower Case:
e.e. cummings (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) –e.e.c. i met edward estlin cummings in high school and was carried away by his trademark […]
Butterfly Fly Away
Last week I attended what I thought was my first funeral since Erik’s funeral. As I was driving up this cemetery hill something looked all too familiar. Then the flashback came. My cousin and I had driven up a similar hill for another funeral just a little over a month after Erik’s passing. I couldn’t […]
Will Weddings Always Be Hard
A fellow widow asked if weddings would always be hard for us to go to and I found myself looking back to the first wedding I attended after Tony died. It was an out-of-town wedding that took place 6 weeks after he passed. Six weeks felt so far away when I was on day 3. […]
Its a Beautiful Morning
Hello Lovely Readers. Happy Sunday to you all. Every now and again, at 12 years post-loss, there is a day or two where things are just really nice. Sometimes it can even be a small moment, and sometimes it can be an entire day or maybe even two. And when those days happen, the love […]
No Small Steps
Since I’ve returned from Camp Widow in San Diego many have asked how things went. People do find the concept of a gathering of The Widowhood to be intriguing, a circle of united souls someone recently described to me as The Worst Club with the Best Members. Really, does anyone really want that membership? I’m […]