I wish I could spend a the monring writing someting truly poetic, but I’ve been swamped holding our first gala for the military widows the AWP serves and I feel that only one excerpt fully embodies what the night, these amazing women, and what we all are capable of doing when we see the light.”to love life, to love it evenwhen you have no stomach…
Blog
Eleven
Since it has been a crazy, busy week for me, and since I have been missing my husband in a way that is so intense lately I almost cannot handle it, I thought I would go back through my personal blog and find one of the few “visit” type dreams I have had about Don since he died, and share it with you here. I haven’t had a dream like this one in…
Ready. For now.
After hitting the 3 year mark on Saturday, I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Grief never really leaves, but I think the experience alone in a new place, along with the fear that I might have the baby before I got to properly grieve and get through the week left me scared and hurting in new and different ways. But, like…
I’ve Met The Most Amazing People ……
This is a post I wrote on my blog ten months after Jim died. I thought that I’d share it with you today. I don’t go back and read most of my posts. I don’t like re-visiting that “cave”. Especially those days where that cold, inky blackness totally engulfed me, filled every pore of my body and threatened to completely suffocate me. But once…
Too Busy
I have report cards due in the next few weeks. Work is hectic as we finish up assessing where the kids are at. Home is stressful as my own kids finish off assessments that their teacher need to assess (but DON’T get me started on teachers who allow assessments to be done at home in primary school and just how many parent’s are earning their…
Power
In my experience front loading washing machines are pieces of shit. The one I inherited from the previous homeowners was leaking water from the door the other day (obviously). When are these things not being problems? Maybe it was my recent return to single-land or maybe it was my stubborn streak, but I decided I would NOT hire someone (most…
Saying Goodbye.. Again
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my dog being diagnosed with cancer (I wrote about it here) Tuesday, the day after my birthday I had to kill put my best friend to sleep. I am in shock. I am devastated. Three weeks after his diagnoses he went from being fine to not eating and his eyes rolling back in his head. Nine years and one day after my…
Pain
“Which do you want: the pain of staying where you are, or the pain of growth?”- Judith LasaterI know that pain is inevitable. In a way, it is something to be looked forward to. But, damn, it still hurts. Causes stress. Doubt. Fear. But like building muscles, we must first be broken down to have the ability to come back…
I Didnt Know
I did not know that it was possible to miss someone this much. I mean – I actually, really, honestly, did not know. I had no idea that I would go see a production of the hilarious play Noises Off tonight, put on by the Theatre Department at the University I teach at; and laugh so hard that my ribs hurt, and then get in my car just a few…
When words are not enough
This Saturday marks 3 years since Jeremy took his last breath. How can that possibly be? Every year, I am in awe of how crazy it seems that so much time has passed, and yet how far away it seems when so much life has been lived in between. I have truly experienced more in the past 3 years than most people do in a lifetime. Since Jer died, I’ve…
Finding A Balance ……
…… is sometimes difficult to do. In all areas of life. And on this blog. It’s difficult to write posts that will connect with everyone. If we write about how horribly dark and depressing and hard-to-survive those first days, weeks and months are …… we don’t connect with those who’ve been in this “club” for quite a while. If we write about…
Does my bum look big in this?*
This post is going to sound like an underhanded grab for compliments ….. but bear with me, it does relate to being widowed and it does ask a genuine question…. I took this selfie this morning on the way to work. We had a special breakfast in celebration of the Melbourne Cup – the race that stops the nation. (Trust me – it’s a BIG DEAL…