Goodbyes. This word. What does it mean to you? And does it mean something different now than it did before your special someone died?As my beloved husband and I drove this great country of ours, I sought a different word to use. Goodbye sounded so final, as if we’d never again see whoever it was we were leaving. Family or friends..it was just…
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Olive Juice
Megan’s priority in life was Shelby. The fact that it is so unlikely that a Cystic Fibrosis sufferer can even have a child naturally made Shelby that much more valuable to both of us. Her “peanut”, as we call her, completed Megan. During her hospitalization, Megan and I had to have “the talk”. We knew the odds of her coming…
“The Change” is not “The End”
“Surely now he’s the one giving light to the stars” As I sit here this morning, with a cup of coffee and the sounds of a familiar person milling around the house, I’m reflecting on some big things. This is a pretty significant weekend. A year ago, I arrived from Texas at a hotel in Tampa without any idea that I would meet a guy from Ohio that…
Validating my Truth
During the week, I was rushing down a busy street while on my lunch break from work, when I passed a former colleague. He called out to me and we stopped to quickly catch up. I hadn’t seen this man for around three years, since he moved to London for work. As is often the way with old workmates, they plan such an integral role in your…
You Deserve To Share This
So, while I never like to assume anything or get too excited about things and then end up being let down, I have to say that the first month of 2016 has started out very positive and active for me. So many things have happened in the past month alone, and other things are in the midst of happening right now. A writer that I respect wrote an entire…
A Not-So Empty Palette
I pulled a Mike the other day. I was listening to someone playing the flute on a video and went looking for his little wooden flute to try and play it. That was Mike; he had all kinds of silly instruments around and was always trying to play them, especially after hearing something particularly moving or beautiful. He had moments of beauty…
The Never-Ending Dance~
It is commonly understood, or acknowledged, that there is time and possibility for goodbyes when a person is terminally ill, as opposed to when there is a sudden death. I used to believe that.Yes, the words might be whispered from one to the other on a deathbed, or they might be breathed into the ears of the one you love as your hands clasp, but…
Writers Block
What should I write about today? Nature? No, I am beginning to sound like a broken record, and I haven’t hiked in the past week. How about Sarah? Well, I’ve got a good subject for NEXT week, but that doesn’t help me right now.. OK, how about Megan’s disease? I mean, I went through a lot with that, but really, it just sucks.
The Dance: Realities of Dating after Death
Mike and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch the last few weeks. Not really knowing what was going on, it’s slowly lead to us both having triggers and making incorrect assumptions about various situations. After a few weeks of unknowingly having some things build up, it finally came to a head over lunch this past week. We talked, and…
Good Widowing
I’m feeling quite proud of myself today. I’ve been going through a bit of a tough patch in the past couple of weeks yet despite this, I’ve been riding it well. If there is such a thing as ‘good widowing’ then I think I deserve some kind of gold star. I guess, what I’ve really noticed this past week, is that when the familiar feelings of ‘this…
Jumble
The other day, I had this thought: Sometimes happiness, sadness, longing, anxiety, excitement, knowing, unknowing, trepidation, laughter, hesitant joy, hope, anxiousness, fear, familiarity, the past, the present, the possibilities, and the thrill of something new – are all simultaneously existing in the same conversation, the same moment even.
A sea of flowers
So last Friday was the annual Circle of Remembrance memorial held by the Kona Hospice. It takes place at Hulihe’e Palace, an absolutely beautiful spot in Kona town. The building itself has a lot of history for Hawaii, which I thought about a lot sitting there; the place has a lot of history for me personally too. Mike loved it so, so much…