Hi, baby. It’s me. I’m sorry I haven’t written to you until now. But I know you know. I tried and I just couldn’t. My heart too broken, the pain too deep, the rage too strong. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It’s funny. Well, not haha funny, but you know what I mean. […]
Widowed by Illness
The Kids Are Alright 🙅🏻♂️🙅🏻♀️
But… are they? 😮💨 I’ve hit another one of those walls where I have a lot to write about, but so much that my brain can’t decide what to focus on. Truth is, in this family, we are ALL literally crawling to the end of the school year. Yep, our last day is June 18. […]
I Did a Thing 🫣
Tuesday 5.26.26 🗓️ I went on my first date since my husband died. It came with all of it. All the feelings. I was really excited and proud of myself for choosing to do it and heartbroken all over again that I had to. It was coffee with a tall and handsome guy who approached […]
Permission to Live
You know I’ve been through all of this before … nearly 16 years ago. The years of heavy caregiving leading to the loss of my love, the emotions, the disappointments, the sadness, the loneliness, the missing. The grief. And now all of that is on repeat. 8 months out. Some think this should be […]
Repeat After Me…👩🏻🏫
I’m a Bad🤨$$, you’re a Bad🤨$$, we are ALL Bad🤨$$es!!! The past few weeks have left me exhausted and depleted, once again. Yes, there has been some joy and fun, but between planning my daughter’s 13th birthday party, surviving another Mother’s Day, my daughter’s trip to Puerto Rico, and a few other energy-consuming events, this Memorial […]
Memories … I have a few
“Separation is an illusion. Though your loved ones are not physically with you, they are with you spiritually and energetically. They live in you and through you. They are ever with you, as close as your breath. When you are overwhelmed with missing their ‘form’, remember that their essence is woven into the fabric of […]
The Regalos 💝 of Grief
I am not going to lie, this one is a tough one for me to write, like I really had to think about it long and hard. Before the massive earthquake that decimated my life, AKA the death of my husband, I was the eternal optimist, the happy-go-lucky (most times 😆), borderline toxically positive person, […]
Once Upon a Time…👑
…In a Far, Far Away Kingdom 👸🏻 In the kingdom of a city in the USA, there lived a beautiful, brave, brave princess. She had just entered teenagehood, and she lived with her loving parents, the King and Queen, her older brother, the Prince, and the royal pet, June, the collie-lab mix. They lived a […]
What do Cinco de Mayo 🇲🇽 and Mother’s Day 💐 have in common?
Nothing, except everything. Yesterday, May 5th, the grief hit me out of nowhere, yet not entirely unexpectedly. We loved turning nothing into something, any excuse into a celebration. Take Cinco de Mayo, for instance. Not Mexican Independence Day 🇲🇽 and not a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, but after nearly 30 years […]
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t have the energy to “people” – to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
The Wild Wild Southwest 🌵
First things first, and the most important thing first: this airline gets me!!! ➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️ But seriously, the polarity of this journey that goes from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a nanosecond, I had to take a picture of it. Well, we did it! We survived and, may I dare say, […]
For Better or For Worse
I just found this newspaper cartoon clipping in Jim’s bedside drawer. It was folded up in a basket of miscellaneous keys, coins and receipts so I hadn’t yet taken the time to sort through all of it. I love Iris’ words: “We made a commitment … and although it’s not easy, this is all part […]