So there’s this guy…he likes me and I like him And when we are together, we giggle. With him, I remember how much I like to laugh, the kind of laughter that makes my belly hurt.And then there’s this other guy, who when he smiles at me I can’t say a damn thing intelligent. The energy coming off of him says “Good kisser.” If only I could find the…
Widowed and Healing
Say
I found this photo. Simply a picture of a memorial for some strangers lost loved one. Raw. Honest. Candid. Words that can be used to define the words left to commemorate this soul, this being. What would yours say? For Michael’s Bench: “A lover of steak, mechanics, calculus, Star Trek, not using directions, cargo shorts, foreign films. All he…
The Things I/We Didn’t Need to Hear ….
(this was originally posted on Feb. 16, 2008, almost 2 months after Jim’s death. It was in response to many of my blog readers asking me what to “not say” to a grieving person”. This is the 2nd time I have posted it on WV, but I think we need to remind people ….. every once in a while). OK, buckle your seat belts. And please, please, please…
East Coast Trip, Part II
Let’s see… where did I leave off… Oh yes – back in Buffalo. The kids and I stayed in the little apartment above Matt’s aunt and uncle’s farmhouse where his Grandma Munn used to live – on the dairy farm in our old neighborhood. So peaceful and wholesome. Grandma Munn was such an awesome lady. I’m so thankful I got to know her, and I’m somewhat…
Almost Married
By the time you all read this post I will be married. Even as I type these words I find that fact slightly unbelievable, because five years ago I was certain that my life was over. My heart was still beating, my lungs worked, my eyes opened each morning, but my LIFE was over. I found the fact that the world as I knew it had stopped turning to be…
Push
Active Lifestyle…. I lived one. I ran 5 days a week, did ab workout DVDs, went biking with Michael, and a little more here and there.Now in comparison to Michael, I was sedentary, but he was my motivation to do that which I was active in to begin with. Self care was something he was a huge advocate of, and feeling and looking my best made me feel…
to try again or not to try again
I’m lonely. Bitter and lonely. I don’t want to date….but when no one asks me to go on a date, I feel stung and…..lame. What is wrong with me? Are my thighs too large? Do I not have a good enough job? Do I have too much baggage? Do I look to androgynous?Then I look around at what is out here. I’m young-ish but old enough that if someone my age…
Better…
Portions of the following post are from about a year and a half ago…at the time I really thought I was better, and all things considered I was. About three years ago I started joking with Michele that I wanted to wear a black t-shirt with word “bitter” printed on it to identify myself as a bitter widow. She refused to let me, more out of fear…
Overwhelmed
It happens. A song plays. A breeze brushes past my face. A scene from a movie crosses the screen. I stand in the kitchen for no certain reason. A sunset paints itself across the horizon. Our dog sticks his head out the window. I lay silently in bed.These diminutive things take place, and from head to toe I am overwhelmed with how much I am in love…
Grade Three
This week my little girl, Liv, started school….not kindergarten or grade one. Until now, she had been homeschooled. When Jeff was alive, we had discussed our desires for our children’s education and what we thought would be the best pathway for our family to take. Although we both agreed that homeschooling was the choice for us at the time, Jeff…
Eat, Pray ……
….. and Love. No, not the book. But just those three small words. I was looking at my copy of the book this morning, wondering what I was going to post about for WV. And then I started thinking about those 3 words. And about how small they are, but also about how much power and emotion has been packed into each of them since Jim died.First …..
The August Flu
Even though I have now lived through the month of August five times since Phil’s death, I once again failed to notice the signs of the anniversary flu as August 31st approached this year. Maybe you recognize some of the symptoms?physically achy impatient slightly glum, but with no real cause low grade sense of impending doom decreased level of…