Main image by Patty Brito on Unsplash This is my 100th post for Soaring Spirits. Which sounds more monumental than the 104th, due in a few weeks, which will mean that I have been writing here for two years. I know I have not missed one Tuesday. Discipline is good. Habits are good. Who would […]
Noticing and Shifting Patterns of Living with Loss(es)
Main image by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash In the last few years, I have come across the field of “Human Systems Dynamics” (HSD), which offers ways of thinking and tools for exploring complex human systems. I learn about it mostly for professional reasons, but since my professional and personal interests are so integrated and intertwined, […]
Commemobrating
Photos my own I survived last week. I survived 30 June and 1 July. I survived the two year “deathiversary” of Julia’s death. Forever split across a date line, two days of the week, two dates, two months, even two quarters. Because from when I “know” she took her life, to when she was “officially” […]
And life, with all its devastation, trundles on
Photo my own – on my facebook feed, from 7 years ago (21 June 2014) Megan & Julia playing flute & oboe at our village Fete de la Musique concert I have just read a HuffPost article about how differently the “Back to Normal” phrase can be received by people, depending on what you’ve been […]
Navigating Multiple Worlds
Image by Denise Jans on Unsplash It’s been a choppy week. A choppy week full of choppy days. I feel I have been on a constant dance, in and out of multiple worlds. Which is not quite how it might sound, in that I have not actually been in a coma, bordering on this life […]
Discharging Guilt
Main image by Callum Skelton on Unsplash One of Julia’s best friends, whose family asked me very directly, some six months after her death, never to contact them again, turned up unexpectedly at my door about 10 days ago. The door was wide open, and I only knew she was there because of the dog’s […]
Disappointed in the Spirit World
Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash I want to believe in the Spirit world. I want to believe and trust in Mediums. I do believe in the Spirit world. And I do believe and trust in Mediums. Mostly. And yet… I can’t help but feel disappointed. Where were Mike’s and Julia’s spirits on a small […]
Navigating New Terrain
Photos my own I just re-read last week’s post to see if I had mentioned “Orienteering” and saw that – oddly – I hadn’t. However it was a feature underlying that piece of writing. Orienteering is where I had been with my parents, in Leucate, when I came across “Ed’s Feather” on 22nd May. Orienteering […]
The Smallest of Gestures
Images are my own creations This past week has been abominably hard. Violently hard. Or should I say, this past week has had some abominably and violently hard moments, minutes and hours in it. Yes. That’s closer. I once heard that Christopher Reeve (aka Superman) said, after his horse-riding accident in 1995 that left him […]
On Life as Mayonnaise
Image by Daniel Costa on Unsplash This isn’t a “deep” piece … just some in-the-moment noodlings, metaphors and wonderings. Sometimes people talk of “not being able to turn mayonnaise back into its component parts”, i.e., you can’t get your whole eggs back once you’ve beaten the hell out of them, mixed them with oil and […]
Non-Stop Dead
Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash In the weeks and months after Mike died, people often asked me if I dreamt of him. I barely did. He was “in my dreams” – a presence in them – but dead. I remember resenting that I knew all the time, every moment, day or night, even when […]
Re-enter, Re-emerge, Re-cover, Re-silient, Re-be, Re-re
Photo by Tolka Ulkan on Unsplash Today is a stay-in-bed-day I am feeling weepy I am feeling bereft I am missing my old life I am missing my dead loves I am missing my alive loves The dog and cat were with me for a while but even they got bored and left It’s all […]