View of “Le Canigou” – the Pyrenees’ highest mountain – from my parents’ house, after a summer storm 3 August 2020 We have been on holiday now for a “fat” week. “We” is Megan, Ben, Medjool and me. A “fat” week is 10 days. The first 7 days were spent in the Camargue, a beautifully […]
Let me see where Mike is at
On Friday, a couple of days ago, some dear friends, Trisha, Angus & Isobel from London, came to stay for he evening/night before heading into the Swiss Alps for some summer holiday mountain respite. Dear friends to me, to Mike, and to each of our kids, all of whom were born after our friendship began […]
Grief Maths
Main ArtWork by Angela Franklin, Grief Will Teach You Math, When You Subtract One (2019) https://demifgallery.com/artworks/9478-angela-franklin-grief-will-teach-you-math-when-you-subtract-2019/ I am no mathematician. I was pretty weak at maths at school, and given the option of having 7 or 8 hours of maths a week vs 3 or 4 hours in my final two years, it was […]
Wrapping Loss in Love
Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash I spend a lot of my time reading about death, dying, and grieving, participating in webinars and holding space sessions with grief experts, people who’ve developed wise perspective on what it is to love, to lose, and to continue living. Apart from two moments since Mike’s death, I have […]
Post Mortem – a year on
This past week we have been honouring and commemorating Julia. (And Mike. And Ed. And Don. Of course). Like we do every day. Of course. But particularly Julia this week. The first “deathiversary”. The first anniversary post mortem. I don’t really know why the one-year anniversary feels like such a rite of passage. It’s not […]
Right Down to the Weather
Main Photo by Marc Wieland on Unsplash So there we have it. Here we are again. Time has rolled around. As it is wont to do. Dates might not have, but the sense, the weight of that Sunday night 52 weeks ago, most definitely has. A hot day in our part of the world with […]
Incongruities of a Summer’s Day
Just like I always feel a twinge of glee on 21st December (we have reached the shortest and darkest 24-hour period in the Northern Hemisphere – yippee!), I also feel a twinge of sadness on 21st June when we have reached the longest, lightest day. There’s a clear message there about not living in the […]
Rewriting Friendship Contracts
Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash I had one of those rollicking walloping moments of insight a few days ago after what had been months of sporadic back and forth Whatsapping with a lovely friend, (let’s call her Catherine), who I met decades ago at university. We were really close in those years and stayed […]
Parallels
Photo by Jonathan Pendleton on Unsplash Like just about everyone with a heart on the planet, I have been saddened, distraught and moved to tears many times these past couple of weeks as the upwelling of grief and anger in the US (and the UK, and France, to name just a couple of other places), over race, bias, […]
Don’t Rush Me – It’s not just me – it’s you too
Photo by Andrew Buchanan on Unsplash “One of the big things I talk about in the grief world is how other people want to rush grief. They want the old you back, they want things to go back to “normal,” they’ve grown impatient with the way grief lives in you. All that cheerleading and cheering up has, at […]
Empty
Photo by our own amazing Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) Empty. I am empty. I feel empty. Which one is it? Just empty. Running on Empty? No. Not even. A year ago I did a semi-marathon and it was at the end of one of the hardest weeks in my life (and I have had a shit […]
New Love in the Time of COVID-19
Main image courtesy of Ruben Rojas, Street Artist, in Los Angeles How does a new relationship, even one that truly feels right, profound, rich, loving… how does it survive, how can it survive, in the time of COVID-19? How can Zoom sessions, WhatsApp calls and texts, photos, and even the occasional letter, be a substitute […]