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Alison Miller

A Huge Moment in Northwest Texas~

Posted on: October 28, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

It was completely unexpected.  My first road trip since the pandemic began. I wasn’t towing my pink trailer, but I did add a bunch of decals to my pink car, deciding that my car needs to represent my Odyssey of Love just as much as my trailer does, covered as it is with the hundreds […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

From Devastation…to this…

Posted on: October 21, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I’m leaving tomorrow for my first road trip in over a year. Since settling into AZ to make a documentary about my Odyssey of Love a year ago, in fact. I only decided to do this a few days ago, but I was immediately excited, just contemplating being back out on the road. This adventure […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Arguing with Myself~

Posted on: October 14, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Should I force myself to the gym again today? Yes, it’s good for releasing energy. Also, in theory, I’ll eventually get in shape. But then I think maybe I should keep this weight on in case our food supply chain is disrupted and food is harder to come by. On the other hand, with the […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Inadequate Words from my Uncertain Self~

Posted on: October 7, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I don’t know what to write this week. The world is too much, and has been for some time. I’m not one to hide from the truths of widowed life…the emotional/mental/physical aspects of it and how long it takes to just frickin’ stand up on a regular basis. I definitely don’t believe in the cult […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

The Double Life of a Widow~

Posted on: September 30, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I’m not qualifiably bipolar, but I swear I feel like I’m two people living distinctly different lives. If left on my own, supposing I had the money to do so, I’d park my rig, PinkMagic, on a beach somewhere, far away from everyone, and have as little interaction with the world as possible. I’d read […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Time and Space and Fantasy~

Posted on: September 23, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Bear with me as I write this. I’m a total and complete Outlander fan, but the words I’m going to write aren’t because I swoon every time I hear James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser utter the word Sassenach. No, my words are about why I’ve connected so fervently with the series, and then the books, […]

Categories: Widowed, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

See How They Shine~

Posted on: September 16, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Sailors of old had the right idea. They looked to the stars to place themselves as they rode the ocean waves. I’m here, they could say, after sighting particular stars and constellations. Rising stars and setting stars dipped above and below the horizon at set points of their days and nights. They watched the night […]

Categories: Widowed, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Claw Marks~

Posted on: September 9, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Supporting Chuck as he died. The hardest, most impossible, most unbearable thing I’ve ever done. It was my job, as it was for all of us who walked with our loved one as they lay dying, to make it as easy as possible for Chuck. Or at least, that’s how I saw it. Out of […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Spinning Through Memory~

Posted on: September 2, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Twirling down a long hallway, Softly lit with shimmering lanterns. Spinning from side to side, one door here, Another, there. Fingers gliding gracefully, and with longing Over memories and emotions. The past rising up, bowing its’ head in homage, Flower blossoms of the past carpeting wide planked floors… Sprinkling colors over me…garden spectrums of days […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Ausgespielt~

Posted on: August 26, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I just found the word you see in the title, as I searched for words to describe why I ought not be writing a blog this week. It’s German, and means done for. Done in. Over it. Spent. Overwhelmed. Wiped out. Fatigued. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Okay…I added those last words myself. Also, I ought not […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

All Things Spiral~

Posted on: August 19, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I’ve always thought of grief as a spiral. Possibly because my daughter, Rachael-Grace was a hoop dancer for many years. The big kind of hoop, not the little hula hoop so many of us remember from our youth. Rachael-Grace used a hoop she made herself, and she taught herself how to dance within it, spinning […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Milestones, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

Love in Other’s Words~

Posted on: August 12, 2020 | Posted by: Alison Miller

I don’t have many words in me this evening, as I sit down to write this week’s blog. I do have a heart and mind filled with memories of the Love that Chuck and I shared for 24 years. A Love that sustained and energized me and made me feel passionate about life. Memories that […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

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