In the sunsets, at the end of days…. I look for you. I don’t know if I feel you where I am or where I’m not. But I hope you are. There. Or there. I know you loved what I now see with only my eyes and perhaps, for that reason alone, if nothing else… […]
My Newest Math~
I’m a bit of a fan (hugely so) of the Outlander books by Diana Gabaldon, as some of you know. The show and books absorbed me immediately, taking me back to my Scottish roots and filling my world with the Love story between the two characters, Jamie and Claire. The character/personality of the Scotsman, Jamie, […]
Living my Story~
In the end, all we own are our stories. These words were placed on the top of the page of Chuck’s memorial service program. They were echoes of a line from our favorite movie…Australia. Every so often, as I write or speak about our Love story, people have commented oh, you were so lucky! And […]
Music and a Love Story~
Music is a huge part of my life, as it is for so many of us as we live our daily lives. A few days ago, as I listened to my music playlist titled Chuck, it took me a moment before I realized that my entire body had relaxed. Not only had it relaxed but […]
February~
On February 18, Chuck and I would have celebrated 31 years together. It sucks that he’s dead and we can’t rejoice in being together. We wouldn’t have anything necessarily planned. Maybe go out to dinner, wherever we happened to be in our travels. It would have most definitely wrapped up with great sex. Fucking cancer […]
Where Lies Home?
Somewhere in our second year of our travels, Chuck and I met friends for dinner in NJ, a state that had been our home for 2 decades. He served at McGuire AFB, both active duty and in civil service, following his retirement, and we raised our kids there. One of our friends asked us what […]
Reverie~
I find myself lost in reverie frequently. Staring into the distance, seemingly. What I’m really doing is staring into the stillness of my heart, Into the stillness of memories long past. As I write this blog, my fingers trail off typing and it takes a few minutes to come back to the here and now, […]
Shared Hugs~
His hugs. I felt them through my entire body. In our early days together, it was my hugs to him as he returned from deployment. We generally never had an opportunity for farewell hugs. Only words if he had time to call me from work and bid me a hasty goodbye. Quick I love you’s between us […]
These Words~
You are alive. You are whole. I say these words in my head so that I might hear them in my heart. Chuck didn’t say these words to me, but he very easily could have. No, I read these words in a book last year, and they echoed strongly through me. If I listen closely […]
Mars and Venus and Me~
Several years ago, Just a couple years after Chuck’s death, A woman read my birth chart. She took into account where and when I was born. This wise woman, for that is who she was, drew my chart and studied the alignment of stars and constellations…where each one was on the morning I was born, […]
Orion and His Belt~
Like thousands of others, I went outside to look up into the Universe the other night to see if I could find Saturn and Jupiter joining to create the so called Christmas star. I have an app on my phone that allows me to point it at the sky and identify the stars and constellations […]
Restless Heart. Restless Feet~
I’m restless. I know, I know…I’m just one in a crowd of millions. This pandemic, right? Year 2020. I’d already given myself a year to get off the road full time, even before the ‘rona came visiting. I wanted to focus on filming a documentary about my Odyssey of Love. So I was good with […]