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Where You Are~

Posted on: March 10, 2021 | Posted by: Alison Miller

In the sunsets, at the end of days….

I look for you.

I don’t know if I feel you where I am

or

where I’m not.

But I hope you are. There. Or there.

I know you loved what I now see with only my eyes

and perhaps, for that reason alone, if nothing else…

Maybe possibly you might be…

There.

In the earth beneath me

the air around me

the skies above me.

Night and day dark and light.

Shadows.

But most certainly,

in me, in my heart and soul and breath and very being…

Around me.

By me.

With all that I am now,

I beg the Universe for this to be so~

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Military Widowed, Widowed by Illness

About Alison Miller

My beloved husband Chuck died while we were full timing on the road. We’d rented a condo for our stay in southern CA, and I had to leave 3 weeks after his death. All I knew at that time was that I had to find a way to continue traveling on my own, because settling down without him made me break into a cold sweat. I knew that the only place I’d find any connection to Chuck again was out on the roads we’d been traveling for our last 4 years together. I knew nobody out on the road, I knew grief was a great isolator, and I knew I had to change the way I traveled without him, to make it more emotionally bearable for me. So I bought a new car, had a shade of pink customized for it, bought a tiny trailer and painted the trim in pink, learned how to tow and camp, and set out alone. My anxiety was through the roof, and all I knew to trust was the Love that Chuck left behind for me. I found Soaring Spirits early on, thank god, and the connections I made through SS helped ground me to some extent. I needed to know that other widow/ers were out there in my world, because I felt so disoriented and dislocated. Through Soaring Spirits, as the miles added up, my rig taking me north, south, east and west, I found community. I found sanity…or at least I learned that if I was bat shit crazy, I was in good company, and realizing that ultimately saved my sanity. PinkMagic, my rig, is covered with hundreds of names of loved ones sent to me by my widowed community, and I know it isn’t visible to the naked eye, but I’ll let you in on a secret…she actually illuminates Love as I drive down the many roads in our country, and I can see it through my side view mirror. Love does, indeed, live on~

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