It’s surprising to me how much peace one can feel in the middle of a couple of hundred people. Yet that’s exactly what I felt at “Camp Widow” (love the nickname, M!). To be surrounded by so many women, and a great guy, who understand what I’m feeling before I have the words to describe it …… is very peaceful.It’s not that it was all sugar and…
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The Value of a Friend (continued)….
I spent this past weekend at the first ever National Conference on Widowhood, an experience I now fondly call “Camp Widow”. I watched in awe as women from around the world met each other for the first time and talked for hours like long lost friends. I’ll never say I take my friendship with Michele for granted; having a widow friend to walk…
And Life Goes On
Do you ever count the things your husband has missed since he died? Or think about the amazing things that have transpired since you last had one of those, “You will never guess what happened!” conversations with him? I sometimes catch myself marveling about the ability of the world to continue in the aftermath of death and tragedyAnd yet it does.
It’s Unimaginable
Life hasn’t turned out like I thought it would. Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured myself standing before a room full of widows sharing with them my thoughts on finding hope in the aftermath of despair. Never. And yet here I am, and here you are, and we are here together.Unimaginable does not mean impossible. How do you apply that…
Unite
This past week Nicole (WSM) and I were both able to speak to military widows from the Vietnam era. Now we did it in different ways (mine was on the phone and hers was at the podium), but both brought us to the realization that we were overlapping two generations with one common thing, sharing our stories of love, grief and survival.The woman I…
Life does sure insist on happening…
Life does sure insist on happening. This weekend, while I am in San Diego for the Conference, my daughter will be putting herself on a plane for musical theater camp. She will take a plane to Newark, and then a bus. We have reviewed the itinerary maybe one hundred times. She is really tired of me. “Do you have your ticket? The confirmation number…
WINGS and Things
My coach once shared a quote with me that said, “Take the Leap and Build the Wings on the Way Down.” That was in 2006, about a year and a half after my husband Rory passed away, when I found myself at a major crossroad both personally and professionally. To bottom line it, I knew I had to make significant changes in the way I worked, how much I…
New Adventures
This is a picture from my vacation last week. I’d love to tell you all that it was the most fantastic trip I’ve ever been on. That, however, would be a lie. It was mostly …. not fun. It was mostly ….. lonely. It was mostly …. painful. I really, really needed Jim there. But there is no answer for that need ….. and so I move…
The Value of a Friend
For lots of reasons, but likely due to the National Conference on Widowhood this weekend, I keep thinking about my friend Michele and how different my life would be without her. She once wrote that God closed the door to Phil, but by an odd twist sent her the window that opened to me. Given the choice, she’d have slammed my window for sure… :)…
Life In Yellow
So, it is Tourde France time. This may or may not mean anything to you, but in this house Tour Time is a big deal. The Tour deFrance is the granddaddy of cycling races, made famous in recent years by the athletic feats of Lance Armstrong. You will notice in any photo of me that I am wearing a bright yellow LIVESTRONG wristband. I took the…
More than a Guest Book
Being required to plan a funeral right after someone dies is cruel and unusual punishment. Yes, I know, arranging a final resting place for the deceased loved one is necessary…but putting together a thoughtful celebration of the person you love is incredibly difficult when you are still trying to register the fact that they are actually dead.
The Ocean
I cannot think of any better example of this new chapter of mine than that of an ocean. Waves are a constant but there are days when all is calm, and then there are the days where they crash on the sand with all their power and might. So goes the same with my grief.There are moments of serene beauty. The sun rises and the sun sets and all is well,…