The other day, my 2 1/2 year old found one of Jeremy’s mementos – an autographed baseball still in the box. I had it in one of the boys top drawers to keep so that they might have it one day when they get older. Naturally, he wanted to play with it. He took it out of the cardboard box, unwrapped the tissue paper around it, and started throwing…
widowed with children
When One Door Closes ……
…… it sometimes slams right in your face. Some doors are like that. They suddenly slam shut with so much force that you’re knocked backwards. The door on my “before” life shut like that. Suddenly. Surprisingly. Furiously. Permanently. Other doors close very slowly. You can tell that they’re closing, but it’s such a slow process that you…
Why This is YOUR Fault
Like many of you, last week I read a facebook post by the fabulous Michele in which she confessed to being irritate with her dead husband (not her lovely, living one….) Went for a run this morning, and my legs were feeling heavy and slow. Phil is never far from my mind when I run (especially in August), and as I struggled with the miles I…
Home Sweet Home
Well, things around here never seem to quite slow down. And lately, in particular, they’ve sped up into super speed! Steve accepted a new job position in Parkersburg, West Virginia. Oh, and we move next week! We are taking a ride on the crazy train and loving every minute of it. Well….almost every minute.While I am thrilled for this new…
Two Years
March 1 will mark 2 years since my beautiful life ended.The life I loved.The life where my best friend did everything with me.The life where beautiful things were abundant and not edged with sadness. The life where I felt safe and loved and content and happy.Two years since that awful day. Last year, there were lots of people around me on that…
A Dog Eat Dog World
Who do I complain to about the discrepancy of dog years compared to human years? I want to know the person in charge who came up with the math of 7 years of a dog’s life is equal to 1 year of a human’s life. I’m confused by acceleration of dog time; I’ve watched a dog for an entire day. He gets up, goes outside to the bathroom –…
Judgements
can’t believe she’s staying in that big house. Surely she’d be better to move to something smaller without all those memories.I can’t believe she won’t write in that journal I gave her. She should write her memories down. You’d think she owes Greg that much. (I do write them down … but not to share in that journal).Why isn’t she dating? She’s…
Spider Cracks
It’s almost midnight and she lies in a hospital bed at the all-too-familiar emergency room. Tears emerge as the nurse pushes the needle into her arm – in order to find a “good” vain for the IV. This is the nurse’s second attempt, the first one only producing a puncture that will be sore for days. I stand hopeless next to the bed,…
I Am Not a Mind Reader
…. and I don’t really think I want to be.But it would certainly make some things easier …. relationships, for instance. I wouldn’t have to guess what a certain word is supposed to mean …. or a certain look ….. or the raise of an eyebrow. I wouldn’t have to wonder if all men like this, or hate that ….. or if all widows feel this, or…
Grief Vs Depression
I have been involved in an argument on facebook about “grief” this afternoon (very mature, I know – there were some classic lines that I should send Supa for “shit-people-say-to-widows”).But it actually turned out to be a misunderstanding where the other person had confused grief with depression.To me, grief is something that I live with…
Remembrance Candle
I know the holidays are way over, but I wanted to share a Christmas experience I had with my children, when we lit a candle in remembrance of Lisa. The monthly grief group my girls and I attend has a holiday service where the family lights a candle for the person we are remembering. Our family was not able to make the event this year, but a one…
Crocodiles and other absurdities
I live in our little house physically alone aside from my two young children and our pets. All the belongings in this home are ours and paint a vivid and accurate picture of who is housed within these walls. But if you were to dig deep enough within cupboards and closets, you would items and articles that seemed at odds with these inhabitants and…