…. just because you’re in a relationship. Most relationships have their bumps and turns. But throw in two widowed people, their children (8, with & without teenage hormones), the difference in the time of their widowedness (6 1/2 years) and the grief that each still carries ….. and you don’t just have a few bumps and turns. You have a…
janine eggers
There Will Always Be ….
…. set backs. I know that’s a given. Life is full of set backs. Everyone’s life, not just mine. Or yours. So why is it then, that when I am hit with one of them …. I’m surprised?Last week was a set back. One huge, hairy set back. It started the moment I arrived home from a trip and continued on through Sunday (and is even bleeding a little…
And So It Goes ….. and goes and goes and goes
This thing called grief. I just got back from a fantastic trip to Germany. I was with a group of 46 other people and we toured around for nearly 2 weeks. It was my first trip “alone”. I’ve gone on trips with the kids or with friends, but I went by myself on this one. I stayed by myself in all of the hotels.Most of the other 46 people were…
The Things I/We Didn’t Need to Hear ….
(this was originally posted on Feb. 16, 2008, almost 2 months after Jim’s death. It was in response to many of my blog readers asking me what to “not say” to a grieving person”. This is the 2nd time I have posted it on WV, but I think we need to remind people ….. every once in a while). OK, buckle your seat belts. And please, please, please…
Should I Be Happy ….
….. to know that Jim is in Heaven? Yes, someone asked me this …… 10 days after Jim’s sudden death. Interesting question. Should I/we be happy that Jim is in heaven? Well, of course if I were a “good” Christian then I’d have to give you the pat, “good” answer: ‘Of course I’m glad that he’s up there, with God, praising and singing (though he…
Eat, Pray ……
….. and Love. No, not the book. But just those three small words. I was looking at my copy of the book this morning, wondering what I was going to post about for WV. And then I started thinking about those 3 words. And about how small they are, but also about how much power and emotion has been packed into each of them since Jim died.First …..
THE Valley ….
…. you know the one. I think that most people, even those who are “non-religious”, are familiar with its name. It’s the big-daddy of them all. The Valley of the Shadow of Death. It’s mentioned in the Bible and has been referenced in countless books, movies, TV shows, etc.It’s been on my mind a lot lately. You see, I never really knew what it was…
Love is Not ….
…. a cure-all. For grief. Or for anything that goes along with grief …. like an aching heart, feeling lonely, wanting your spouse back, or feeling misunderstood.Finding love again is wonderful in so many ways. Ultimately it makes you feel like a woman again, rather than a widow (or, I imagine, like a man, rather than a widower). But it…
Would I Be a Better Spouse ….
…. the second time around? After pondering this a bit …. I have to be honest. And say yes. Don’t get me wrong …. I don’t think I was a bad wife. Not at all.Jim and I had a fantastic relationship. We loved each other more with each year that passed. I knew that we had a better marriage …. or at least seemed happier …. than many people I…
Feeling Safe ….
…. is exactly how I felt this past weekend. (Yes, this is another post about Camp Widow …. but I don’t think we can help it.) 🙂 I felt wonderfully safe and secure there. Among people that I already knew …. and among people that I had just met (which means that I have more Facebook friends!!). There are no strangers among widowed people.Only…
Love After Love …
… is different. Very, very different. I wish I had known that. I wish I had known a widow who could have told me that. Someone who could have warned me. You see, I had only loved one person in my whole life (OK, other than my family members and friends). I had only fallen in love once. And he had only fallen in love once. We both had that…
I Am Pissed ….
I am pissed . . . . ….. please forgive my crassness. Since Jim died I haven’t had anyone around to give me a disapproving glance for unladylike language so ……. it’s been much more difficult to be ladylike. I think it goes with the experience. Deep breath here. This will be one of those honestly honest posts. I’m not sure who should take the…