AS TIME MARCHES ON The sun rises each day and the moon climbs high at night, marking the passing of time. It has been 243 days and so many things have happened since Dan died. Days, weeks, and months pass and it feels strange when I take stock of time’s passing. It helps to do […]
Newly Widowed
Today I am thinking about us . . .
. . . and horses . . . I surprised myself the other day at how emotional I got about recalling how much horses taught me about life and living. A friend posted a lovely story about mares….how they have to protect their young and fight off any predators that seek to harm their foals. […]
One of the many places . . .
. . . he is missing It began in 2001 when Christmas tree lover, Danielle, was living in a college dorm and needed help to get a Christmas tree for her home away from home. Of course, she called her dad, and so the tradition began. The conversation about “when” would begin during Thanksgiving dinner […]
GRATEFUL
A PHOTO JOURNAL OF GRATITUDE On the day before a long past Thanksgiving, after a days-long vigil, my dearest Auntie Martha passed away in a hospital bed set up in her room with her best friend of sixty-plus years and her niece by her side. “I think she’s gone,” Diane said, reaching over to close […]
CAN IT BE POSSIBLE . . .
. . . THAT OUR SONG BEGINS AGAIN? Adjusting to a daily work schedule, a new work environment, and an entirely new set of applications and procedures left me distracted enough this week that I forgot what day it was. So here I am, for the first time since July, typing my blog on […]
WE CELEBRATE DIA DE LOS MUERTOS
IN HONOR OF OUR BELOVED DEAD Lady La Muerte The Lady La Muerte arrives in her finest gown Covered with butterflies, up and down; her dress the color of la muerte; her hat needs the bull fighter’s suerte; From afar la familia muerta looks on, To one special cowboy we are drawn, — […]
i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart . . . after e.e. cummings poem i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear) e.e. cummings i carry your heart with me the heart that broke—grew—broke literally—and mended […]
I MISS THE OLD ME
Who Am I Now? The new me was born on April 15, 2021. The new me attended a four day conference with my new name found in its title: widow. The new me is still trying to figure things out. I’m not the same person I was before Dan died. I cannot turn the clock […]
THE WONDER OF A CAMP FOR WIDOWED PEOPLE
The Wonder of Peer Support. This past weekend, I attended Camp Widow as a newly widowed person where you immediately feel that people understand your feelings. Peer support is the “process of giving and receiving encouragement and assistance to achieve long-term recovery.” Peer supporters “offer emotional support, share knowledge, teach skills, provide practical assistance, and […]
Camp Widow – For The Very First Time
What is Camp Widow anyway? Camp Widow is an event started by our first-born daughter in response to her beloved husband, Phillip, being taken away by death much too soon. Camp Widow is a generous effort by one widow to honor and acknowledge the pain of all widows and widowers by offering them a place […]
Confessions
Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after I type it. Confession seems warranted since I sometimes cannot remember if I’ve showered— and apparently I made a tribute tile for you but I […]
Traveling in the Land of Grief – Part Two
Images speak louder than words. The concentric layers of trees, in the gorgeous photo above, remind me of grief—its stages and the overall journey that begins when death arrives at our door. It speaks to me of spaces of rest along the journey and the familiar fog of being in an unknown land. Little […]