AS TIME MARCHES ON
The sun rises each day and the moon climbs high at night, marking the passing of time. It has been 243 days and so many things have happened since Dan died. Days, weeks, and months pass and it feels strange when I take stock of time’s passing.
It helps to do so, periodically, in the form of a love letter.
Babe,
It feels scary that so many things happen that are “after” you, and that many things that were “during your time here” are changing as well.
Here are just a few:
This happened.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/12/us/widows-grief-soaring-spirits-cnnheroes/index.html
Our baby girl, our first, was a CNN Hero. I know. Surreal. Michele was flown to New York, was introduced on the stage by the amazing Lynda Carter, the first Wonder Woman. Perfect combo, right? All evening Michele sat next to Mrs. Maisel (did she arrive to me before you left, or after?) and sitting with her bestie, Michelle, they were also seated by Josh Grobin! Our baby girl, hanging out with the stars. The kids and I spoke of how you were front row center, watching the entire event and giving a standing ovation.
Speaking of baby girls, my Indy (whom you’ve not met) is now a woman-dog. Yes. At only 9 months of age, she had a two and a half week moon cycle which is (finally!) over now. You always took our dogs to the vet, so you can imagine this is a place of growth for me. I’m not great at it. At her 20 week check-up you may remember that I wrote to you here and mentioned that I cried in the vet’s office. I have strong intentions that the trips to the vet will get easier for me. I hope. I have to take her in for a pre-op so she can be spayed, now that her first season has past. Little baby Indy, with the cute eyebrows and jump in her step, will turn a year old just one month before your one-year death-a-versary.
Vinny is getting out of his wheelchair! Isn’t that great!?! His bone is strong and even the doctor is surprised at his body’s good work at healing. With much effort from his mom and dad, as you know. I know you’ll be happy to receive this news.
I’m currently subbing at a college, babe. Yes, the one where Denise works. And I’ve applied for the permanent PT position…anyone’s guess if I will get it, but still. I think you’d be proud of me for going for it. Say a prayer for me on this one, will you?
Biggest news, we are going to have our 15th grandchild in the spring. He will be named Daniel John and is Danny and Jessica’s son. You’ve not met Jessica, I don’t think….or have you? This is what I mean about time….I cannot always recall what was before and what was after. You’d like her. And you should hear the buzz about having another baby in the house. 🙂
We have a new gardener and got a red rug in the living room on sale that I am still wondering if I like. I took the full-sized bed from Izaak’s old room and put our big bed in that room where Danny stayed and now Michael is there on and off. I go to bed so much earlier without you here. Grief lands in my body and it feels like I lose energy quickly. Oh, and did I mention that I traded in wine and margaritas for whiskey? Yep. We’ll discuss that one later.
I miss you, babe, and am ever loving you.
Thanks for the life you created with me–I love you always and forever.
