… Christmas, that is. I won’t lie to you, the week before Christmas, I was not feeling great. The weight of another Christmas without Greg weighed heavily on my mind. I missed him. I know I miss him every day, but last week I really missed him. I missed sitting on the couch and snuggling, watching the lights on the tree flicker. I…
Widowed Holidays
The Ghost Writer….
…… of Christmas Past. I know that most of you out there wish this day was just an ordinary day. Just the 25th day of December, no more, no less.Actually, I know that most of you wish that you could’ve fallen asleep around December 22nd or so and stayed asleep until January 2nd. Or February 15th.I get that.All too well.In honor of all of us,…
A Little Bit of Christmas
So, eight years ago this past Sunday, December 18th, Don Shepherd got down on one knee on a freezing cold night, in front of hundreds of cheering tourists, underneath the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, and said, among many other things: “Kelley, in the middle of the best city in the world and with all these people watching, at the biggest tree…
Surviving Christmas
I am finding it hard to find any Christmas spirit this year. I have no idea if I have bought the children presents that they will enjoy… just a couple of small gifts to keep up the pretense of Santa. I have not sent a Christmas card in years … they remind me too much of all those funeral “thank you” cards that sat on my dining room table…
Ornamental
Blessings to you, during this difficult time of year for many of us. I’ve handled Christmas pretty well since Ian died. Partly as we’d not really developed/embedded traditions before he passed, partly because I have a very young child who I want to experience and have memories of the childhood magic and joy of the season. So I bring you my…
Turning the Corner
So, it’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I write here on this blog each and every Friday. Except that I don’t. In actuality, in order for the blog to go live on Friday, midnight Pacific time, that means my writing deadline is 3 am on the East Coast, the night before Friday morning. Last night. Now you know all the ins- and -outs of the widowed…
Perspective, an Amazing Gift
Last week I called Veronica and offered to write her post this week…seeing as it is Thanksgiving and she was going to have just given birth…I thought she *may* be a bit busy! (She, and her big loving family, welcomed a baby boy on Monday. Bayor Matthias weighed in at 9lb 15oz, he measured 20 inches long…and he is absolutely gorgeous!)…
Thankful ……
…… is not something I have felt a lot these past almost-6 years. I mean, I’ve felt it for a few things, like my children, my family and friends who were there for me when I really needed them. But it was beyond difficult to feel thankful, while at the same time not believing that Jim was dead. But this year …… this year is different. These…
The Tree
It had been nearly six months since Dave died and Christmas was coming, whether I cared about it or not. I got home and the driveway was full of familiar cars, the house lit up like Vegas. Waiting inside were many of my closest girlfriends and a house decorated for Christmas; music, candles, food and a perfect Christmas tree ready to decorate. Each…
Remembrance Candle
I know the holidays are way over, but I wanted to share a Christmas experience I had with my children, when we lit a candle in remembrance of Lisa. The monthly grief group my girls and I attend has a holiday service where the family lights a candle for the person we are remembering. Our family was not able to make the event this year, but a one…
Dodging Bullets on New Year’s Eve
New Year’s Eve is my #1 most difficult holiday. More than Christmas, more than Halloween and more than Maggie’s birthday weekend (2nd weekend in December.) Saturday will mark the third without a midnight Maggie-and-Chris lip lock. It’s difficult to imagine kissing someone else on that day and at that time since her lips are the only ones…
Aging Gratefully
Today is my birthday. I am 42 years old, three years older than Phil was when he died six years ago (crazy to think he would be 46 right now!). My first birthday without him I remember wishing time could just stand still. I didn’t want to age without him;I didn’t want to celebrate being alive with birthday songs and presents; and I didn’t want to…