…. than the word, “widowed”. So. Much. More. I used to hate that word. In the first two years out. Hated. Abhorred. Refused to use it or answer to it.I’ve come to learn that’s a very common response. The only widows I knew were older. And I in no way wanted to be associated with them. And then I started forming a group of young widows in my…
Widowed Community
Heartbreak, Hot wings, and Hope
Here I am, one of nine men sitting on nine bar stools, all of us without wedding rings. The others look a little older than me but it’s an unfair comparison; in my mind’s eye I’m still 30, the age when I met my wife. But here we are, nonetheless, peers, or at least men of similar relationship status – lonely. Every guy on every stool is…
Next Week
Next week, at this exact time, many of y’all will be home…and when I say home, I mean at Camp Widow.Though I will be unable to attend this year, it was my honor to be among fellow widows and widowers at last year’s celebration of love, life and survival. My fellow widows have been a blood line and a huge reason I’ve made it this far and actually…
Nine More Days…..
In just 9 more days I get to see some of my favorite people on the planet! A few of them are pictured here. It seems like only yesterday I was packing my suitcase and heading home after an amazing and exhausting weekend of Camp Widow. How can a year have passed already?I remember thinking after last year’s camp that a nice break from all the…
Mattering
She says to me “Kim, you’re important. Other widows want to meet you. They ask if you will be there.” I was talking to Michele, the founder of this blog, Camp Widow, Widow’s Village and Soaring Spirits Foundation. She was trying to convince me to come to widow camp. I wasn’t going. Even though I live just two hours away. I wasn’t…
I Had a Nightmare ….
…. last night that Jim came back. I know. A nightmare? It should have been a dream. A wonderful dream. But it wasn’t. He just walked in to our house one day. Three and a half years after his “death” …. he just walked in. In this dream he had been in the Service and I had evidently been notified that he had been killed. I guess they never…
Cherish your friends
I wanted to take some time to just talk about my friends. These past few months have been some of the most changing and challenging months since Michael was first killed. The difference though, is I now have an unwavering support system.Michael always urged me to go out and make good girlfriends, but with my best friend being him, I never clicked…
one more, just like us.
i met another one. this time, holding a baby just a few days past a month old. she was pregnant when her husband died.she was left in the place that so many of us have found ourselves. but i didn’t know that. not yet. … she smiled when we met, i smiled back, talking to her baby. then she told me. … i should be able to hide my…
There is a Huge Difference …..
…. between a battle and a war. Huge. But unfortunately, when you’re in a war …. there are many, many battles to fight. I am not sure what your beliefs are ….. I don’t think our differing beliefs will matter as I write this. At least I hope they won’t. I write to speak out …. to share my guts with you. All of you. And we all “get IT”…
Home is
Home is where you hang your heart, not only your hat. When Phil died, the four walls of my home became both a refuge and a prison. I hated going out; I hated staying in. The outside world was too bright. I felt blinded by other people’s lightness, innocent happiness, and especially by their apparent disregard for the fact that the world had…
Alone Together
I just got off the phone with my good friend Dominic. We don’t talk to each other too often, maybe once a month, but when we do, I always feel so good. He lives up in the Bay Area, from where I moved from last year. We have been to many of the same places, and always have similar stories to share with each other. He’s originally from my new home…
kinship
Nine months after Jeff died, my beloved grandfather joined him in the great fishing grounds in the sky. My grandmother was, understandably bereft. She asked me, “Does it ever begin to feel any better?” In that moment, I was struck by one thing. We were now not only linked by blood and family, but by the kinship of grieving our spouse.Marriage…