…. just because you’re in a relationship. Most relationships have their bumps and turns. But throw in two widowed people, their children (8, with & without teenage hormones), the difference in the time of their widowedness (6 1/2 years) and the grief that each still carries ….. and you don’t just have a few bumps and turns. You have a…
Widowed and Healing
The Last Picture
Five years ago today we took the last picture. We were on our way home from Disney and a day away from our first appointment at MD Anderson. Of course we didn’t know it was the last picture…that’s why the happiness in those two faces is real.It’s hard to believe it’s been five years. I can close my eyes and it feels like yesterday. It feels like…
Official First Date!!
As we walked he wrapped his arm around my waist. I leaned in, not away. As we talked he looked into my eyes (so sorry for the corniness of that statement) And I looked back, not down.We sat at dinner and I danced in his attention. Rose, glowed, warmed when he looked at me thinking I was not paying attention, when he laughed at my quick wit, when he…
ACL 2010
This weekend I’ll be at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. 8 stages, over a hundred bands, but to me it is so much more. Last October, my best friend (and fellow widow) and I ventured out on the green grass, drinking wine from sports bottles, listening to amazing music, having a grief/stress free time.Of course, since Michael’s death I’ve had…
Five Years Ago Today
As a young teen, my husband Daniel traveled on Amtrak to St. Louis Missouri with his parents and five siblings. When he spoke of this trip many years later, his fondest memories were of staying up all night in the sleeper car rocking to the rhythmic movements of the train, watching the Texas landscape flash by, playing Gin Rummy as the train…
Normal
I have nothing to write. I had a completely relaxing day. I dropped Langston off at school for his game and on the way home I cried so hard I had to pull over.Art’s death is just so fundamentally sad. All that he is missing is just tragic! And yet… I returned later, and watched Langston play flag football. I took my other two to play dates. I…
Once In A Lifetime Trips
It’s that time of year. That time where I’m able to fulfill one of the biggest dreams Michael and I had. To travel across the world.I vowed after he died that I would take a once-in-a-lifetime trip once a year. The first being a 220 plus mile backpacking pilgrimage across Spain. The second was in Ireland. And this year I will be hopping around the…
wishing it were
My daughter, Liv, has always loved stories. Stories of mythical creatures and the lessons these myths hold seem to entice her imagination into applying these learning experiences upon her life. Awhile back, for movie night, the kids and I watched “The Secret of Roane Inish”. After learning of the legend of the Selkies, Liv was truly enraptured and…
happy birthday.
it wasn’t the kind of birthday celebration i would have chosen, for her but then there’s very little about this situation that either one of us would have.but after three of them without her this was by far the best. not because i’m over what happened or because i’ve moved on (i prefer the phrase, “moving through,” implying an active process vs.
And So It Goes ….. and goes and goes and goes
This thing called grief. I just got back from a fantastic trip to Germany. I was with a group of 46 other people and we toured around for nearly 2 weeks. It was my first trip “alone”. I’ve gone on trips with the kids or with friends, but I went by myself on this one. I stayed by myself in all of the hotels.Most of the other 46 people were…
The Beginning of the March…
This month begins the “death march”. That annual walk down memory lane that takes me from the last family trip we took when he was feeling somewhat healthy, to the 3rd diagnosis, to M.D. Anderson, to a brother’s graduation, to a stressful birthday in the ER, to a series of specialists, to yet another hospital, and finally to a cemetery on a…
A Different Widow Card
So there’s this guy…he likes me and I like him And when we are together, we giggle. With him, I remember how much I like to laugh, the kind of laughter that makes my belly hurt.And then there’s this other guy, who when he smiles at me I can’t say a damn thing intelligent. The energy coming off of him says “Good kisser.” If only I could find the…