Kelley Lynn is out of town this week and is not able to post her weekly Friday blog, so we went back to a post she wrote 5 years ago about the weight that comes with making sure our loved ones are remembered. Even five years later, we’ll bet that many of you can relate to her words… If you are widowed, and you are reading this, then you know…
Uncategorized
Celebrations Realization~
I spent Mother’s Day with our youngest son and his wife and 2 year old son. They were loving and lovely and welcoming and it was a totally enjoyable time. Even as it was heart ripping and filled with emotion because, you know…dead husband.I’m in year 6 of this widowed life. You’d think I would have calmed the fuck down by now, right? In the…
Where Are You Mike?
I often say aloud, “Where are you?” I hold my hands out in front of me and hope to sense him in the air. I miss his physical presence and sometimes the lack of it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. This widow life, it is…
National Widows Day is a Thing
Today is National Widows Day. There is also something called International Widows Day. The purposes of both of these days is to A: acknowledge widowed people B: be kind to widowed people C: spread awareness about how widowhood affects a persons life, and how, in some parts of the world, widows are even looked down upon or in danger. So, I do…
Hollow Inside
In every store you visit the shelves are lined with colorful, foil wrapped chocolate bunnies. They stand neatly organized in the aisles, adorned with ribbons and bows. At first glance, these holiday treats catch your eye because they look shiny and decadent. But, things aren’t as they appear. We know the bunnies are hollow inside even…
The Dress
I bought a dress. In and of itself this isn’t some big deal. But, in my situation, this ordinary task is monumental and significant. I bought a dress because it caught me eye. I liked it. It is simple and classy. It is white with small black polka dots. In my mind, it seems like something I would like to wear in Paris. I am…
Everything but the Kitchen Sink
As widowed people we do not talk about this enough. When they died, our sex lives died with them. There I said it. Sexual bereavement is a thing. It is very real and it profoundly affects us as we live on without the one we love. Daily, we miss the intimacy of being a couple. And, nothing, not one thing can replace this. The daily…
Wanderlust 2
Wanderlust take 2. I need to see new things. And, also, I need to see the same things – somewhere else. I need to stand on different street corners. And, walk roads that lead to new people and places. I need to breathe the air – somewhere else. Anywhere else. I feel like I am holding my breath, Living here in the outskirts of my old life.
A Perfectly Imperfect Proposal
He began by saying “I know this wasn’t the way you had planned for this to go…” And he was right of course. I’ve had quite an unexpected Christmas this year, with some very big news to share with you all today. My partner, our Tuesday writer, Mike, proposed to me on Christmas Eve. In front of the tree and all the stockings hanging over the…
It’s Me
I used to answer my phone and I’d hear him say “Hi Beautiful, it’s me”. I miss those days. I miss when my phone would ring and his voice was on the other end. I miss hearing the man I love telling me it was him. Art: Loui Jover When he was alive, Mike belonged to me and I belonged to him. And, for a short while, everything seemed…
Resting Sad Face
There’s this term that is frequently used called “resting bitch face.” It describes someone whose neutral or resting face looks like they are annoyed or mad. I don’t have that. What I have is resting sad face. I don’t know when it started. Presumably sometime after Mike died since he (or anyone else) had never mentioned it to me…
Condiments
For almost two years, I have kept a small, hand picked assortment of condiments in my freezer. The content of these containers have long expired; but, still, I can not bring myself to throw them out because they are from the recent past – when Mike was alive. These common containers are anything but ordinary. To me, they are stale, sticky, well…