Main image by Ashim d’Silva on Unsplash Some of the more woo-woo stuff I get up to is “Journey work” (The Journey®). I first came across Brandon Bays, and her book, “The Journey”, in Autumn 2009, and fell in love with it. Over the next few years, I attended about 30 days – possibly more – […]
Child Loss
Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Widows
Images from the Soaring Spirits end of year card 2021 I got my first Christmas card two days ago. Not quite in November, but almost. It stunned me in myriad ways. Firstly, I am staggered I even receive Christmas cards anymore. I don’t send any. I used to, in the life before, but I don’t […]
Grief of Tsunamic Proportions
Image by David Cleverley on Unsplash I don’t know how to begin this piece. I don’t know what will be in the middle. And I don’t know how it will end. In truth, I usually don’t know the middle or end of a piece before I start writing. This will horrify any good teacher of […]
You’re Allowed Fifteen Minutes
image by Avesun on iStock About six weeks ago, on a Monday morning, I woke up crying and sobbing. I was having a beautiful and stunningly hard dream. It happens. Quite a lot. Whenever I dream of Julia. I dream of Julia much more often than I dream of Mike. Always have done. I don’t […]
Mourning and Evening Glories
Main image by Erda Estremera on Unsplash A couple of weeks ago, on 3rd November, I felt moved to celebrate a different kind of anniversary. The three-year anniversary of my widbud group, the “Mourning Glories”, comprised of Charlotte, Gordon, Michelle, Pamela and me. We met in early November 2018 in Toronto at “Camp Widow”, organised […]
A Run of Good Luck?
Main image by Dustin Humes on Unsplash I have been wanting to write something about numbers, number patterns, and time, for a while. And specifically that I couldn’t help but notice, some three or four weeks ago, that I hadn’t had another “significant loss” for a while. I feel blessed. No new, massive, significant, life-altering […]
From Pandemic to Endemic
Photo by Gabriella Clare Marino on Unsplash I read a McKinsey article this morning called “Pandemic to Endemic: How the world needs to learn to live with COVID-19”. The article is basically about, erm, learning to live with COVID-19. That COVID-19 is something that is not going to go away. That it is not time-bound […]
I can do heavy
Image by Stephan Mabbs on Unsplash Today I had a two-hour slot scheduled with a man called Simon G, who, like me, is a participant in a learning programme. We are learning to facilitate Systemic Constellations work in organisations, led by the formidable Caroline Ward. Simon and I first met at a one-day “taster” programme […]
Gold Dust Moments
Main image by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash. All other photos my own from 16-17 October 2021 on the south banks of Lake Geneva. I have written before about my daily (nightly) reflective practice of writing into some questions. Back in March this year, I wrote a piece about one of the questions, which is “What […]
Lots of tears this week
Image by Vladimir Kramer on Unsplash I have cried a lot this week. Sometimes it’s just like that. Some weeks I cry more than other weeks. It might be hormonal. Let’s face it, I am 54, and apart from feeling “a little warm” most mornings as I sit in bed with my frothy coffee, I […]
Courage, Trust and Hope
Photos my own, Montenegro 2017 and 2021 I am just back from a week’s late summer holiday in Montenegro with Medjool. It should have been an “organised holiday”, with daily longish-distance swimming in the “fjords”, lakes, rivers and sea in and around Montenegro with SwimTrek. But Montenegro recently made it on to the UK’s Red […]
Community and Accountability
Main image by Hudson Hintze on Unsplash When I took up swimming again for the first time, when I was about 23, it was after an approximatively 10-year hiatus. Until the age of 13, swimming (in a pool) was one of the three main sports I did, along with ice-skating and orienteering. I enjoyed all […]












