Parenting is both overwhelmingly rewarding, and unrelentingly challenging. Some days we glow with pride at the accomplishments of our little angels; other days we may wonder how our best laid plans went awry. Sharing parental duties with a wonderful partner definitely helps manage the roller coaster ride we call parenthood…there is someone to…
Widowed Suddenly
Broken Heart
Sometimes I wonder how…. I had the Johnny and June idea about our life together. One of us would die and within a couple of months the other would die of a broken heart. Fast forward to almost 3 years later, and that theory has been proven wrong…..Even though there have been many times I’ve begged for it’s brokenness to take over the rest of my…
the same, but not
we walked here, in the same place you now stand, through a uttar pradeshian summer, the two of us, hand-in-hand until we could no longer.still we walked near one another, separated by it, yet kept close because of it. we learned about this place, hearing how it and a lack of water drove them from here. we both understood then, why otherwise…
Honest to a Fault ….
…. is what I can sometimes be …. I think. Some people do not enjoy my honesty on my personal blog. I’ve learned to hold back on some things ….. things that will have an effect on those I love. Although sometimes holding back puts me in a very, very lonely place.I wish that I could just pour out every single feeling that comes my way when…
Death Grip
For the last couple of weeks I have been in Australia with my three kids, my daughter’s best friend, and my fiancé. We spent ten magical days touring, laughing, learning Australian phrases, introducing the kids to Michael’s friends and family, and exploring our new family dynamics. We couldn’t have asked for a better first togetherness trip.The…
Friends
For those that really know me, they know how open I am in sharing that a huge percentage of the reason I am still here today, has been due to my friends.Before Michael was killed, my friendships were on a superficial level. This wasn’t to say that I didn’t have long-time friends, but the essence of who I was wasn’t truly understood.The only person…
didn’t think about it
i thought about it from time to time, but i wasn’t sure i’d ever come across it again. i had a vague sense of where it was, but it’s not like i i really end up near this place all that often. so the memory could have remained just that. i’ve gone much further to find the places i’ve wanted to rediscover, and this one is so…
i didn’t think about it
i thought about it from time to time, but i wasn’t sure i’d ever come across it again. i had a vague sense of where it was, but it’s not like i i really end up near this place all that often.so the memory could have remained just that. i’ve gone much further to find the places i’ve wanted to rediscover, and this one is so…
A Slow Fade ….
… is not what happens the day your soul mate dies. There’s nothing slow about the slamming shut of the door of your life. Your life as you knew it. Your “before” life. Your future as you dreamed it. The door slams shut. All light is snuffed out. Literally. You are thrust into a very, very dark, very cold place.No …. not slow at all. But…
Dark Nights of the Soul
Warning: This post may be unsettling to many. It was written 8 days ago. I thought about it today. And yesterday And actually been thinking about it for 5 days straight. Considering different ways to do it. Quick, painless ways to do it.I’ve been thinking about killing myself. The fact that I am writing about this means, I think….I am working…
Embrace
“I don’t understand what’s happened to me?” “It’s huge. You’ve finely embraced the life you hadn’t planned on.” This quote from a movie just keeps echoing in my brain.I’ve noticed that, with quotes and words…they have a way of sticking to the sides of your mind during different parts of our life. Some temporarily to help you get through the day…
….by the way
I am seeing all sorts of old and familiar faces since we moved back to my hometown. It’s been great getting reacquainted with now-grown children of my youth. We discuss how the town has changed. That the one stop light in town is no longer the one stop light in town. Gossip about the nastiest boy in our class has changed and where he is now.I find…