Kelley’s post got me thinking. My knee jerk reaction was: what’s wrong with me that I parted with my wedding ring months after Dave died? What’s wrong with me that I don’t long to wear it? How did I let go of that ring? I measured the devotion I had by the way I dealt with my grief. Never helpful. Everyone grieves differently. For a moment I…
Widowed Milestones
It’s Gone
The following was written in my personal blog just a few days ago, so those of you who may follow my writing over there, may have already read this. Really wanted to post a shorter version here too, though – because I know that so many of you can relate to the devastation and feelings that this brings up. Nothing has changed. Nothing has been…
Paying it Forward
Tomorrow I move onto my second calendar year without Ian. Moving from 2012 to 2013, to a year that was no longer the year I lost him, I found difficult, but got through with a small group of friends. Tonight I move one more digit further away from the 2012 in which he left us. I realised this morning that I will no longer be able to say…
Turning the Corner
So, it’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I write here on this blog each and every Friday. Except that I don’t. In actuality, in order for the blog to go live on Friday, midnight Pacific time, that means my writing deadline is 3 am on the East Coast, the night before Friday morning. Last night. Now you know all the ins- and -outs of the widowed…
Feeling Adrift
….. like someone alone in a canoe …… with no oar, no compass. I feel as though I’m living in some kind of in-between layer of life. It feels like I don’t belong anywhere anymore …… like a tree that’s been cut away from its roots. No place feels like “home” right now, or whatever “home” used to feel like. My house in Texas is on the…
There’s No Place Like Home ……
…… even if it’s a brand new home. And sometimes …… especially if it’s a brand new home. (Not new as in newly built, but new as in new to you.) As most of you know, I’ve been splitting my time between Houston and New York City. And I’ve loved being in NY. I’ve always loved being in NY, but now I love it for additional reasons. And the…
A New Perspective
The moment I walked out of my front door in Michigan for the last time, tears fell without warning and without permission. It was as if my body knew what my mind wouldn’t allow me to think about or dwell on – that I was leaving behind a huge history and pieces of my heart that would never be found in any other place (cue Monica from Friends…
An unexpected surprise
We are settling into our new home here in West Virginia. It’s a strange experience to live your entire life in one region and then move somewhere completely different in your thirties….but, I feel called here, and our family is loving it so far. And I’ve got lots to keep me busy!One day last week, I decided to take a drive around and see the area…
A Final House Goodbye
It’s been a long time since I cried for three straight hours. I forgot how many rolls of toilet paper I can go through per hour. (Yes, I use toilet paper instead of Kleenex. TP is more efficient, less messy and much cheaper. When you are clocking nose blows at between 2 to 3 RPH – rolls per hour – cost matters.) I also forgot how…
Home Sweet Home
Well, things around here never seem to quite slow down. And lately, in particular, they’ve sped up into super speed! Steve accepted a new job position in Parkersburg, West Virginia. Oh, and we move next week! We are taking a ride on the crazy train and loving every minute of it. Well….almost every minute.While I am thrilled for this new…
Proud
After two weeks living in my new place, my new city, my new life, I am feeling at peace most of the time. The anguish of living in “our” house has lifted. My new life matches the new me a little better.I’m meeting wonderful new people and finding new ways to heal. I’ve been sleeping through the night more often, a reflection of the peace I’ve been…
Blessing
I’m sitting in my new apartment while I type this. Soon, I’ll have to go get ready to leave. Today I have to drive back to the house and work on clearing what I want out of the place before I can have an estate sale. I don’t want to leave my new place, and this surprises me. I’ve lived here a week and already it feels like home. It’s amazing how…