I’ve written before about how my personal routines went out the window after Ian died. John was only 13 months when Ian got sick, and 16 months when he died. Getting him into a bedtime routine, let alone to going down at a regular time just never got re-established after the initial “everything gone haywire” period. We both developed bad…
Widowed by Illness
This Odyssey of Love
I’m down to my last month here in Phoenix, staying with our oldest son. On June 21 my daughter and I will hitch up my PinkMagic rig and head north and then west on our Nothin’ But Love cross-country tour. We could head directly west and then north along the California coastline. We could, but we won’t. Quite simply, I can’t. If we head…
Raining, pouring
It’s been a crazy week. I guess I am just in one of those general bad periods that just happen in life from time to time. I have uni deadlines and assessments this week, I got sick Friday so I lost a study day, then a nasty nasty so and so of a virus attacked my computer rendering it to the status of a boat anchor (and not a very good one…
Grief Rising. But Love, Too
Tomorrow my daughter Rachael-Grace and I leave on our 6 month Nothin’ But Love tour. It will be quite an experience for both of us, filled with every emotion of the alphabet as we honor and remember my husband/her dad, meet people along the way and hear their stories, offer workshops to women around the country and, well, who knows what else. …
That Which Is Not Here~
We spend our lives with an awareness of our physical bodies. We dress our bodies, we move our bodies. Our hands hold other’s hands. Our arms hug. Our lips meet in exquisite kisses. Our lips smile and laugh. Our eyes sparkle as we gaze upon life and our loves. Our feet dance, in rhythm or not. Physical presence is a big deal. It was very much a big…
Questions?
Where is…?Who put that there…?When…?Why is……the bottle of brown sauce in the crockery cupboard?Did I put it there… or did John? I don’t remember doing that… but I don’t remember seeing John in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner, either. It must have been me that put the sauce in there, but have no recollection what so ever…
Year Three Fear
I’m heading into the run of second anniversaries that begin in February and run for about 4 months – his surgery; the complications hitting and the roller-coaster of his illness; him dying. Something I’m acutely aware of. In my journey, the big anniversary for me is the March “complications hitting” anniversary. That’s the day from which…
Routine
Ian used to call me Sheldon, as in Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. In order to keep up with the housework and household management, I followed a routine through a website. And it worked pretty well for me for years and years. To the point I’d get antsy if it wasn’t followed. Heck, I got antsy if he mopped the house from the back door to…
Bridget Jones
I’m on my annual extended-family vacation this week and the Australian summer vacation period is a big time for relaxing with a book (or ten). So I’ve opted to publish a review of the third Bridget Jones instalment that I wrote on my personal blog in October. It was written for a non-widow audience, so is preaching to the converted…
My Battle Axe
( I’m filling in for Amanda because the storms in Australia have knocked out Internet access. She’ll be back again next week.) I’ve got a battle-axe that I carry with me everywhere I go. I’ve had it since Jan 5, 2007 when it was given to me by a doctor who said the words “cancer” and “urgent.” Its blade is sharp and still bloody…
Time Flies….(Guest Blog – Michelle Dippel-Dahlberg)
It’s that time of year again. I’ve marched towards today for the past month and a half. Grumpy one day, fine the next – I think most of my family has felt the uncertainty of my moods but they have hung in there. This year was different for a couple of reasons – one, I forgot the day the march starts. Let me clarify that though, my conscious…
Almost time to say goodbye
Maggie died in May 2009. I’ve been writing on Widow’s Voice since April 2011. I don’t write as often as the other bloggers because I guess I’m the quiet one. Yet I hope that my infrequency has been inversely reflected in the intensity of my posts; I’ve been open and honest and shared all that I’ve been working through. My path…