Apparently there are great gifts to be found in profound loss. Or so we’re told. I suppose it’s true for some people. We’re told it’s an opportunity to become more compassionate or more aware or become kinder to those around us. Hopefully most people are already both those things but maybe not. Maybe numerous people live their lives unconsciously.

Most will forget the way you wore your hair and your favourite items of clothing. They will forget your tattoos and the way you smelt when you drenched yourself in cologne or perfume. They will forget the way you walked, the way your body moved among theirs, they will forget your movements. Yes, all of your mannerisms. They will forget the sound of…

After my husband died, I spent a whole lot of time grieving. And existing. And just trying to breathe. In and out. Sometimes more in than out. Sometimes hyperventilating. Sometimes forgetting that oxygen is a thing. Make it through that hour, that minute, that day. Whole lot of time spent sitting in his car that I was left with, in the university…

In life, in culture, we are encouraged to connect with others, with community.  As girls, we imagine who we’re going to marry (a high percentage of us anyways).  Who will we fall in love with?  We date, fall in love, get engaged, marry, and build a deep connection to our person, and society applauds us. Then our person dies and we’re…

Everyone has their own kind of therapy when someone they love passes. Mine was tattoos. It was nice to sit in a room and feel a different kind of pain, a kind that I could control. Physical pain seems to be so much easier than mental pain. So over the course of six months I filled my entire left arm with different things that reminded me of Joey.

…is just one month away.  July 13th, 2011, is the day that rocked my world forever. That is the day that my dear, sweet husband died very suddenly of a massive heart-attack at age 46, after only 4.5 years of a beautiful and loving marriage together. In 2012, I started the first ever PAY IT FORWARD FOR DON SHEPHERD DAY. My husband was the most…

Return to me… Please come back… Return to me, with your strong arms That wrapped round me… And made me feel safe and secure No matter what was going on around us.Return to me, with your broad shoulders Upon which I rested my head And listened to your heartbeat… Until our breathing became one breath and I felt reassured and knew, always,…

Heartache she can feel not just in her bones but within every inch of herself. Pulsing through her like rapids over a fall. A heaviness that holds her heart with every thought of loss and of love and the thoughts can be so consuming. Love is glorious, beautiful and healing, to lose love is the painful part. Memories, she replays. Sweet, soft and…

Im wondering,  for real, because I really do want to know, will there ever be a time, when something goes wrong in my life, when a relationship ends, or someone else breaks my heart, Again, or I lose a job opportunity, or something happens with my health, or I continue to struggle financially, or my parents get sick, or my kitties die, or  ANY…

I’m going to tell you a story.  It’s a Love story…my Love story….a Love story that lasted for 24 earthly years.  My Love story taught me how to trust, it taught me how to love passionately while keeping my own identity, it taught me how to open myself to another person, how to ignite my passion, and how to knock down old walls that no…