Image by Yoksel on Unsplash It’s Valentine’s Day already in some parts of the world. I know that the date fills a number of my fellow widbuds with Horror. Or Grief. Or Sadness. Or Resentment. There’s such “noise” around Valentine’s day in (at least Anglophone) parts of the world – it’s one of those many […]
Child Loss
Choosing Life – A Love Letter to Julia from Paula
Photo of Paula & Julia by a school friend I wake up to a firm ray of sunlight bursting through my dormitory window on July 2nd, 2019. I can’t wait to finally see my family after what feels like years. Suddenly, an inexplicable feeling of heaviness fills my chest, making it hard to get out […]
What does hope look like for me now?
Image by precious widbud Charlotte MacNaughton – Yellowknife, Canada’s Northwest Territories (Jan 2023) Way back when, back in my life before, and soon after I had started up my business, Kaleidoscope Development, I wrote a blogpost on “Hope”. It was 21st April 2014. I actually called it, “Hope – Part One”, and a week later, […]
Violent Dreams to Usher In the Year of the Rabbit
Image by Gary Bendig on Unsplash I have woken late this morning – almost 9 am – very late for me. But I have been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours – since before 6 am. I no longer remember what dream woke me before 6, but it was a […]
In Praise of Love and Mountains
Photo and Art by Véronique Balcerzak After Mike died, I made an effort, particularly at Christmastime, to ensure there was a gift from him, not only for each of the kids, but also for myself. The first year, it was soft toy teddys made from his t-shirts. I remember that we needed some kind of […]
Learning to Shuck Oysters at 55
Main image by Tommaso Cantelli on Unsplash. Other pictures my own. I am a bit of an Omnivore, in that I eat everything, and always have done. I have never been a fussy eater, I have a great appetite (which I didn’t lose even when I had gastroenteritis, aged about 14), and I truly relish […]
Channelling Spirits this Christmas
Image by Rob Wicks on Unsplash Today is my first “me day” in a fat week. I have had eight (mostly enjoyable, if also busy) continuous days of catering and making, shopping and cooking, organising and preparing, washing and folding, sweeping and wiping, loading and unloading, and even socialising. But today, I said, more to […]
Slightly Lighter
Image by Caleb Woods on Unsplash I survived another Christmas Day. Woohoo! I survived yet another Christmas Day. I am impressed. And of all of the above words, the word “survived” is the one that least fits. Because, for the first time in 9 Christmases, it didn’t feel like “survival”. It wasn’t exactly singing and […]
Some emails jump out and punch me
Photo of Julia by one of her school friends I needed to find an email I knew would be in my inbox somewhere, and so typed in two Christian names that I figured would result in what I was looking for. The email I was hunting for showed up, but so did this one. I […]
Two Additional Years
Image by Kristopher Fuller on Unsplash Today I have lived two full years longer than Mike lived. He never quite made 20,000 days, and I am now well over that milestone. I have been lucky to have… 730 additional days 17,520 additional hours 10,512,000 additional minutes 63,072,000 additional seconds …as compared with what Mike had. […]
Did I hear you say “…my surviving kids…”?
Photo of my surviving kids, 27 July 2020, on what would have been their dad’s 57th birthday I was on a call last night for a personal-professional (same-same) development programme. It was the fifth meeting of eight we are having as a learning cohort. The group of participants is not large. All our rectangular-shaped-zoom-faces fit […]
Being friends because your friend is dead
I have been having a few lovely days in Paris. It might be best known for being gorgeous in the Spring, and I do like it in the Summer too, but I think it’s lovely in the Autumn as well. Plenty of trees with oranges and yellows in them, fresh temperatures, blue to blue-grey skies. […]