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Two Additional Years

Posted on: December 13, 2022 | Posted by: Emma Pearson

Image by Kristopher Fuller on Unsplash

Today I have lived two full years longer than Mike lived.

He never quite made 20,000 days, and I am now well over that milestone.

I have been lucky to have…

  • 730 additional days
  • 17,520 additional hours
  • 10,512,000 additional minutes
  • 63,072,000 additional seconds

…as compared with what Mike had.

The numbers look ridiculous.

Absurd.

And as I type, more seconds and minutes pass.So what will I do with this “one wild and precious day”?

Breathe.
Be grateful.

Remember Mike.

Keep loving him.

Keep honouring him.

Keep missing him.

Like every other day.

Categories: Child Loss, Widowed, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed by Illness, Multiple Losses

About Emma Pearson

My life is a whirling mix of swishy strands, dark and glowing brightly, rough and silky smooth – all attempting to be seen, felt and integrated at once. Here are some of my themes.

I am British and now recently also French (because of Brexit), and I have lived in France for the past 21 years. I am 55 and sometimes feel to be an “older widow”, and yet I feel so young. I lost my best male friend Don to bowel cancer in September 2015, my brother Edward to glioblastoma in January 2016, my husband Mike to pancreatic cancer in April 2017, and my sweet youngest child, Julia, to grief-related suicide, in July 2019. And I met a new love (let’s call him Medjool, after my favourite kind of date), off one single meeting on a dating website. Our relationship has exploded into blossom as of June 2019.

I am widowed and I am in a new relationship. I have lost a best friend, a sweet brother, a beloved husband and a precious child, and I still have both parents who are alive and well. I live my days with my grief wrapped in love and my love wrapped in grief. I no longer even try to make sense of anything. I just hope to keep on loving and living for as long as I can, while grieving the losses of loves that are no longer breathing by my side.

I suspect my writing here will be a complex mish-mash of love and sorrow. I also write on http://www.widowingemptynests.com/.

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