I’ve written before about how my personal routines went out the window after Ian died. John was only 13 months when Ian got sick, and 16 months when he died. Getting him into a bedtime routine, let alone to going down at a regular time just never got re-established after the initial “everything gone haywire” period. We both developed bad…
Raining, pouring
It’s been a crazy week. I guess I am just in one of those general bad periods that just happen in life from time to time. I have uni deadlines and assessments this week, I got sick Friday so I lost a study day, then a nasty nasty so and so of a virus attacked my computer rendering it to the status of a boat anchor (and not a very good one…
Something’s Coming
This week has been… interesting. After last weeks post, I head on into my week including attending a combined meeting of two chapters of a lobby/advocacy group that I’ve belonged to for nearly 20 years. Over this period, there have been the various internal issues that arise from time to time in such organisations, and those currently around…
“I’m Okay”
“Don’t lie” shouted my step-dad from the other side of the room. This exchange happened while my Mum was in ICU in April 2008. My dad called to check up, and we had our auto-pilot introductory exchange. My step-dad called it for what it was. My step-dad also said during this time, “Never get married. Loosing a spouse sucks”. Well…
It’s a matter of perspective…
A: I’ll be devastated if they don’t playB: I’m sure Mick’s more devastatedA: It’s all a matter of perspective.The Rolling Stones were due to play my city on Saturday night just gone and this was one exchange that appeared on my Facebook feed in the first 24 hours of Mick Jagger joining our ranks.My jaw was on the ground and I thought “I’m…
Luck O’ The Irish
Ian loved celebrating his birthday with his friends, so last year, on his birthday, we marked the one year anniversary of him getting sick by going back to the restaurant we had to leave so quickly in 2012.Earlier this week I got a call from one his mates looking to see if I was planning to repeat the lunch for the second anniversary on St…
Things Have Changed
At the moment we are in the middle of our city’s ‘Mad March’ that consists of a motorsport carnival, an Arts and a fringe festival, concerts, other sporting events. Many of these things I used to go to, before I met Ian, and after. Last year I didn’t really want to go to anything. I think I went to one event, compared to the ‘record’ a…
Letters to the Future
Last week I had a blown away moment…I’m clearing through my study to try and get it in some semblance of order ready for my university studies to recommence this week. Since it’s recycling day, I figure I may as well sort through some old paperwork and textbooks and get them out of the house.So I begin to consolidate an accordion file Ian…
First Thursday
February 11 is a happy day for me (also marked with some trepidation) … it’s my son’s birthday. He who is so much his father, is turning three.But since I generally write ahead of time, making use of the time I can sit in front of a computer screen uninterrupted while he’s in child care, and I’m writing on February 7, John’s birthday…
Questions?
Where is…?Who put that there…?When…?Why is……the bottle of brown sauce in the crockery cupboard?Did I put it there… or did John? I don’t remember doing that… but I don’t remember seeing John in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner, either. It must have been me that put the sauce in there, but have no recollection what so ever…
Year Three Fear
I’m heading into the run of second anniversaries that begin in February and run for about 4 months – his surgery; the complications hitting and the roller-coaster of his illness; him dying. Something I’m acutely aware of. In my journey, the big anniversary for me is the March “complications hitting” anniversary. That’s the day from which…
Routine
Ian used to call me Sheldon, as in Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. In order to keep up with the housework and household management, I followed a routine through a website. And it worked pretty well for me for years and years. To the point I’d get antsy if it wasn’t followed. Heck, I got antsy if he mopped the house from the back door to…