Signs have been on the rise lately, which always makes me feel like things in my life might just be aligning. Just today, while on a drive to go explore up in Cleveland, Mike and I saw at least 5 or 6 signs that related to Drew. The first was at a stop sign. The van in front of us – a Ford Aerostar – had a bumper sticker on it that said “I…
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To live
Grieving for your soul mate, your partner, the love of your life. Grieving a life lived past, grieving the present moment without them and grieving the loss of a future that will never be lived. The word grief as we know, is not enough to explain it. The pain of grief being unimaginable until it casts itself as a dark ever shadowing cloud in your…
Particles
“Astronomers have found at least seven Earth-sized planets orbiting the same star 40 light-years away, according to a study published Wednesday in the journal Nature. The findings were also announced at a news conference at NASA Headquarters in Washington. This discovery outside of our solar system is rare because the planets have the winning…
Location, Location, Location
I am writing this a little early this week because come Tuesday my world will shift yet again. Anyone keeping track might note I have been in Virginia since mid-December due to family medical issues, but now I must make my way back to Kona to deal with things there. Before that though I will be in Florida for a week because my stepdaughter and…
Ten Years Old
This past Friday was Shelby’s 10th birthday. She’s reached a decade worth of life at this point. I wish she would stop growing up, but at the same time, I am incredibly proud of her, and excited every time she learns something new or changes a little bit. To think of what this little girl has experienced in her 10 years is…
Day trip for the soul
This week we had some downtime and a day off school. So my sister and I took the kids to great wolf lodge for the night. This place holds lots of great and special memories for us as a family. We started going there when my now 7 year old daughter was just a baby. All the kids have been with their dad and have their own memories of being there. …
Imperfect and Growing
I can’t say enough about this whole adventure into counseling the past few weeks. Last week, Mike shared about how our first session went for him, and I’d like to share some feelings of my own about our second session on Friday, and about what I am learning along the way. Firstly, I’ve been in therapy for a good majority of my adult life.
Patterns
It was an interesting 10 days. It was a week and a half of guessing games, assumptions, And jumping to conclusions. (on my part) It was a very emotional 10 days, and it was 10 days I do not wish to repeat again. But it came with a lot of lessons, and things that I probably needed to improve on. This one’s all on me. In this weird version of…
Life Without Mike
The day after this posts, February 17th 2017, will be four years since my husband Mike died, suddenly, from a heart attack in his sleep at the age of 59. I’ve been watching that date approach for too long this year. Dreading it. Not just for the pain of the day, but because four years sounds so awfully long to have been without him. I am four years…
Another Valentine’s Day
This particular blog will be short and sweet, and I know that all of you understand. It’s night on Valentine’s Day and I’ve spent the past two days determinedly making Love bigger than grief, delivering joy in colorful bouquets of flowers. I took on a job with a local florist, appropriately named Fairytale Florals, just for this day. I knew…
Resolve
As I pulled into the parking lot to meet Sarah, a bit of anxiety crept into my chest. I wasn’t positive that we would be taken seriously, or that my feelings were valid in any way. I felt like all of my past, and the stress that I had was absolutely my fault. It was as if I alone was the root cause of any problems in my life, and thusly, I…
Wish You Were Here
Today was yet another overcast, rainy day here in northeast Ohio. Trying to come up with something fun to do in the dreary weather, Mike and I decided to take Shelby to the Great Lakes Science Center up in Cleveland. The first exhibit area was on space. In the center of the room, was an actual space module from 1973. Now, I love space. I’ve been…