When Jim and I were PK (pre-kids) we used to laugh at parents who gave their children’s ages in weeks or months. Jim thought it was ridiculous that a person would say “8 weeks” instead of 2 1/2 months …. or better yet …. why not just round it down or up to 2 or 3 months. And then …. there were the parents who’d say a child was 20 months. We’d…
Widowed Suddenly
Good Enough?
One of the most amazing things about having a widow friend to share this bumpy road with is that I always have someone with whom to discuss the daily questions of life. One issue that has occupied Michelle and I (pictured here right after the Widow Dash in San Diego) is the concept of good enough. When you feel that life has already given you an…
I Honk For Love
I love LOVE. I love how it makes a person feel. I love the glow that quietly shows itself in the scrunch of your eyes or smile on one’s mouth. I love the feeling of invincibility that it instills in those who are in its grasp. And more than anything, I love when it is 100 percent, Grade A, TRUE LOVE. The kind that has no doubts or questions, the…
Wanting
David is my best friend. And I say is because he’s still the one person that knows everything about me – good and bad. He’s still the one person I want to call when things go wrong, the one person I want to get advice from when I have decisions to make, and the one person I want a hug from when my heart is heavy. This week I really needed my best…
Starting Over
Have you ever had the urge to just get in your car one day and drive as far away as you could, leaving everyone and everything behind? Just start over where no one knows you? Where no one …… KNEW you? I’m guessing that many of you have because of all you’ve gone through. I’m wondering if anyone has actually done it.That’s the kind of week I’m…
Willing To Jump
This photo was taken at Lake Mead in Nevada about two weeks before Phil died. We were on a family vacation with some wonderful friends, and spent some time in a gorgeous cove. You are looking at Phil and my daughter, Caitlin, preparing to jump off of those rocks into the lake below. Notice that I am not up on the rocks.Phil was Mr. Adventure. He…
Journey
I know you are expecting me to talk about some kind of emotional journey right now. But this time I mean the band Journey. Eighties sensation; soundtrack to many of the moments of my youth; authors of some of the best love songs ever…THAT Journey!My son Johnny turned 17 on August 5th. Life has been so crazy lately (widow conference anyone??) that…
On Cruise Control
Lately, I’ve felt as if I’ve been on cruise control. It was turned on, set, and smooth sailing from that point on. Now while many would say how fantastic that may be after sailing roughly through the squalls of widowhood, the calm waters actually make me uneasy. The irony in this realization can’t stop me from snickering and letting out a laugh.For…
The 3 Amigos
After David died the quantity of my friends were seriously reduced. Most feared approaching me, most didn’t know what to say when they did… Some pretended like his death never happened. It was a filtering process. At first, the filtering process surprised me. I didn’t want to lose friends… especially those who knew David… but it was…
Another First …..
…. with less waves and more new memories. At least for today. And that’s how I take my days ….. one at a time.Today I drove with Daughter #3 to Austin (after a very full, very tiring day) to help her move into and get settled in her new apartment. This is something that I should have done with Jim …. but ….. you know the end of that story.
What Kind of Man?
What kind of man is capable of loving a widow? Would he always wonder if he measured up to the dead man whose image has a prominent place in my bedroom? How would he handle the mention of said dead husband in everyday conversation? At some point would he tire of having to be patient while a grief wave rolled, unannounced, over his girl? What would…
What Kind of Closet?
There are lots of things we put in closets. There are things you expect to find inside like sweaters, dresses, and shoes. Then there are the other things that you can’t find a place for like old yearbooks, memory boxes, or last year’s tax returns. Perhaps there are mothballs, spiderwebs, or the odd price tag from a purchased item….all of this you…