Twirling down a long hallway, Softly lit with shimmering lanterns. Spinning from side to side, one door here, Another, there. Fingers gliding gracefully, and with longing Over memories and emotions. The past rising up, bowing its’ head in homage, Flower blossoms of the past carpeting wide planked floors… Sprinkling colors over me…garden spectrums of days […]
Military Widowed
Ausgespielt~
I just found the word you see in the title, as I searched for words to describe why I ought not be writing a blog this week. It’s German, and means done for. Done in. Over it. Spent. Overwhelmed. Wiped out. Fatigued. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Okay…I added those last words myself. Also, I ought not […]
All Things Spiral~
I’ve always thought of grief as a spiral. Possibly because my daughter, Rachael-Grace was a hoop dancer for many years. The big kind of hoop, not the little hula hoop so many of us remember from our youth. Rachael-Grace used a hoop she made herself, and she taught herself how to dance within it, spinning […]
Love in Other’s Words~
I don’t have many words in me this evening, as I sit down to write this week’s blog. I do have a heart and mind filled with memories of the Love that Chuck and I shared for 24 years. A Love that sustained and energized me and made me feel passionate about life. Memories that […]
Simple Division~
If I divide the days you’ve been gone 2661 by the months 87 By the years 7 years by the weeks 380 by the minutes 3883 by the miles I’ve driven 165,000 by the number of states I’ve taken PinkMagic on my Odyssey of Love 35 And the nights my hand has reached out to […]
In Which I Agree 100% with Kelley Lynn~
I read Kelley Lynn’s blog the other day, and felt immediate connection as she wrote about time passing, and 9 years later and Don and grief and what do you do with it or about it after a certain point? What feelings are evoked as the years pass? I’m at 7 years, and it will […]
Widowed Lessons…Not~
What have I learned from Chuck’s death? This particular question, posed to me either in genuine curiosity, or in a weirdly platitudinal manner, never fails to bring forth all the dark humor of my soul. What do people possibly mean, what have I learned from Chuck’s death? I no longer stumble in my response; I […]
Precious in His Eyes~
I’m open to opening my heart to Love again because I know what true Love looks and feels like, and the beauty of being in it. Indeed, I know well how to love and be loved, by and with a man who honors, respects, and loves me more than his own life. I know what […]
You Are Alive. You Are Whole.
Anyone else reading the Outlander series? Watching it on Starz? If you haven’t, do yourself a favor. Time travel. Scotland. Relationships. Love. Passion. Trauma. Strength. Philosophy. And so much more. I’ve always been a romantic. Always. And I always will be. It’s part of who I am, and a part of me that I cherish. […]
Eating my Way Through Widowhood~
My history with food is not one of gastronomical delights. Even BCD (Before Chuck’s Death), I had no real care for food. It was something I ate to keep myself running; I was most definitely not a foodie. Widowhood struck and my relationship with food became even more tangled. I distinctly recall, the day after […]
Done, and Doing~
How I’ve survived/lived since Chuck’s death on April 21, 2013… And, yes, I do keep track of how long it’s been. In days and moments and months and years. Yes, every moment of this life is defined by his death because the only reason I’m living this life as I am is because he died. […]
Dancing into Eternity~
It wasn’t just the dancing. It wasn’t just your arms around me when we danced. It was my hand enfolded in yours, as you held it close against your heart and turned us around the dance floor. It was the smile in your green eyes as you gazed down at my face lifted to yours. […]