What is a W.S.M.? A little acronym I came up with which stands for: Widow Soul Mate After losing Michael I had the fear of never meeting anyone else who could or would understand the pain, love, and grief that I was feeling. Luckily with my line of work, I have met many amazing people who are the epitome of survivors. In my travels through…
Military Widowed
It is birthday weekend.
David and I were born only two days apart, out of all the years I’ve known him we’ve only been able to spend 3 birthdays together… Our 16th, our 21st, and our 22nd birthdays… (Picture taken at Six Flags California, April 2006, our 21st Birthdays) Previously, I looked forward to new years to come, new challenges… another birthday… life.
La Vie en Rose
It’s just one of those days, where the sun can’t shine enough to get me out of this funk. One of those days where my bed held me hostage, and I didn’t mind. One of those days where I don’t feel like doing much, and you know what…………… I’m totally ok with that!I’ve learned that at first I dreaded these days, they were a reminder that not…
My Valley
It’s Thursday. As I lay in my bed pondering all the emotions I’ve traveled through this week… I can’t help but smile and shake my head… Wow. Where the heck did I go this week?? And how did I get back?! Have you ever traveled through the depths of the “valley” of grief and lost recognition of who you are? I think and say things that surprise…
See You In My Dreams
Dreams take on a whole new meaning after the loss of your soul mate. They are a realm you travel to each night, with their population and surroundings always a mystery. Sometimes I have dreams in which I see my love; that smile, that face, that counterpart of my being. There have been times I’ve been able to speak with him and other times in which…
The truth?
Have you ever had to lie to protect yourself? To protect what’s left of you? I thought I was ready to go back to work 3 months after David was killed. I have no particular logic as to why I thought it was time to mingle with the “others” but I assumed if I just refused eye contact I’d be OK. In my line of work, you see the same people maybe once…
I am not alone.
Confession: I am not fun when hungry. When my hunger sets in I get a headache, become weak, and I’m grumpy! I can’t hide my hunger well, and David knew this better than anyone. The moment I became difficult he’d ask, “Have you eaten today?” “No.” His action? Drop everything and get my wife some food! David always prevented my “hunger monster” from…
Who Am I?
Who am I? At 21, life threw a wrench into the mechanics of my life. I had found all the parts that made me me, all the parts that kept my heart racing, all the parts that made my dreams come true. But on May 21, 2007 a phone call would take it all away. Michael had been killed by multiple roadside bombs while serving in Baghdad, Iraq.My soul mate,…
Stronger than Death
I woke up the morning of January 8th, 2008 elated to be alive! I guess you can say David and I grew up together. We met when we were 12 years old. My soulmate. I’ve held only his strong hands, kissed only his beautiful lips, and slept next to only his gorgeous body. My husband always said I was a “happy” morning person and that morning was no…