…. I chose it. Yep, this time I chose grief. Although, in my defense ….. I really didn’t know I’d be experiencing grief. I thought it might be more cut and dried ….. but considering the amount of tears I’ve shed since Friday, it’s anything but dried. I ended our relationship. We ended our relationship. I instigated the “talk”, but it was…
Widowed Suddenly
Happy*
My personal growth, as well as dedication to the American Widow Project, has brought me more healing than I could have ever fathomed. I still attend each event hoping to get as much out of it as a widow who RSVPed, and continuously I am not disappointed. This evening though, I received a call that meant so very much to me.I rarely hear or ask what…
moments like this.
it’s not what any of us (including brooke) would have wished for, but moments like this: give me hope. …
Strength ….
…. or at least the “appearance” of it, is very illusionary, is it not? I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard, or read, someone say, “You’re so strong, Janine. I just don’t know how you do it.” ….. or some variance thereof. I bet you wish you had those dollars, too (not for me hearing it, of course, but for every time YOU heard it).My…
Announcement
***I’d like to take a moment out of my life to make this announcement*** I like being me. I like being the wife and widow of a hero. I like the knowledge that I have the best of family, friends and pets.I like the oddities of my being that I’m still being introduced to. I like being introduced to them. I like sunshine through my blinds when I…
Pretty Panty Problems
There’s an old adage that says that you should make sure that you are always wearing nice underpants in case you end up at the hospital and some health care worker witnesses the terrible state of your undergarments. I remember this and other silly issues causing me concern at one point.I could worry about this still…if I worked at it. But now,…
shadows & shoes.
a message to those who came after: it may feel like it sometimes, but none of us want you to feel like you’re walking in someone else’s.a message to those who came after: it may feel like it sometimes, but none of us want you to feel like you’re walking in someone else’s.
There is a Time ….
…. for mostly …. everything. Even time for things that at other times …. look very negative. Like Selfishness. There is a time for selfishness …. and I had that time. I needed that time. I needed it in order to survive. Literally.Grieving demands selfishness. At no other time in one’s life must a person think ONLY of her/him self,…
When Does Grief End
Hey Y’all, I’m short for words today, but wanted to share a poem I hope will help you as much as it has helped me.When Does Grief End? Grief hits us like a ton of bricks, Flattens us like a steamroller, Hurls us into the depths of despair. We know in a flash when grief hits, But when does it end? Like the month of March, Grief rushes in like a…
they are okay
There are days or moments that I watch my little ones and think, “Bloody Hell. They are going to be so messed up after all they’ve been through.” Then there are times that I see them blossom and bloom with smiles, laughter and play where I think, “If you didn’t know what had happened, you would think these two had a ‘normal’ life.” All I know for…
support.
last weekend tom and candee came to los angeles for a short visit. and i watched (in amazement) as they continued their support for the life i’ve made for maddy and me since the death of their daughter…they’re heavily involved with the foundation i started in liz’s name. they excitedly ask about everything that’s happening with my book. and they…
I Have Super Powers ….
…. and so do you. Some of you may be so new to this “club” that you aren’t aware of your powers yet. But you have them. Oh you certainly have them. In fact, the newer you are in the club, the stronger your powers are. And they are very, very strong.My powers are starting to weaken, and I’ve lost one of them completely …. I think. This…