I am quickly approaching what would be my second wedding anniversary. Can I see a raise of hands as to who thinks this might be a difficult time for me? A no brainer, right?I have come to have a really negative visceral reaction to the word anniversary. It is a sad reality, but I like other young widowed people, missed out on a lot of things that…
Widowed Parenting
a list.
otherwise perfect, this moment became something wholly unexpected when the words drifted from her lips. well, i shouldn’t say that it was wholly unexpected, but the timing most certainly was.the question brought me back in a way that usually only my memory can. “remember what we talked about that one time?” that’s what changed the moment. and…
Normal
I have nothing to write. I had a completely relaxing day. I dropped Langston off at school for his game and on the way home I cried so hard I had to pull over.Art’s death is just so fundamentally sad. All that he is missing is just tragic! And yet… I returned later, and watched Langston play flag football. I took my other two to play dates. I…
wishing it were
My daughter, Liv, has always loved stories. Stories of mythical creatures and the lessons these myths hold seem to entice her imagination into applying these learning experiences upon her life. Awhile back, for movie night, the kids and I watched “The Secret of Roane Inish”. After learning of the legend of the Selkies, Liv was truly enraptured and…
happy birthday.
it wasn’t the kind of birthday celebration i would have chosen, for her but then there’s very little about this situation that either one of us would have.but after three of them without her this was by far the best. not because i’m over what happened or because i’ve moved on (i prefer the phrase, “moving through,” implying an active process vs.
Waiting
This is the part no one tells you about. This is the part that many do not know. When your spouse dies, you are left with a void, a big void. Your mind constantly reminds you that he is gone, and that what lies before you is an existence that must begin without him. The only problem is, how do you do this? And, what exactly is this new existence…
nothing.
i don’t throw things away. the meaningful, the meaningless, everything is somewhere. in my house. in my garage.tucked away in places i don’t remember, to be found at times i don’t expect to find them. i found a memory a few weeks ago. it was nothing, really. just something i held on to just in case… i can’t believe i kept it in the first place,…
The Things I/We Didn’t Need to Hear ….
(this was originally posted on Feb. 16, 2008, almost 2 months after Jim’s death. It was in response to many of my blog readers asking me what to “not say” to a grieving person”. This is the 2nd time I have posted it on WV, but I think we need to remind people ….. every once in a while). OK, buckle your seat belts. And please, please, please…
East Coast Trip, Part II
Let’s see… where did I leave off… Oh yes – back in Buffalo. The kids and I stayed in the little apartment above Matt’s aunt and uncle’s farmhouse where his Grandma Munn used to live – on the dairy farm in our old neighborhood. So peaceful and wholesome. Grandma Munn was such an awesome lady. I’m so thankful I got to know her, and I’m somewhat…
Ashes
We’re at the ranch. It’s my cousin’s place. 90 acres horses, sheep, ponds, creeks and ATVs.It’s our second home. It’s the place where we escape our noisy city lives. It’s the place Art wanted to be sprinkled. I left part of him here in May 09, 1 month after his death. I left him in a box. That was placed above my cousin’s book shelf. Today was time…
that drive and the ones that followed…
i’m not intuitive or any of that shit, but when he suddenly stopped talking, i let the silence settle through the car.it would have been obvious to anyone (but not everyone) that something was up. it was on the second trip when he turned the volume down on the western music he had gotten for people like me (not knowing that i wanted nothing more…
The Gay Widower
In the days following the death of Michael I began to realize that in addition to losing my husband, I was losing part of my identity. I was having a conversation with someone about Michael when I began stumbling over my words. I hadn’t quite thought out how I would describe him. Up until a few days prior, he was my husband, my spouse, my partner.