What do I do with this 4-year mark? This Friday will be 4 years since I leaned over and gently kissed the lips of my dead husband, after watching him suffocate. After he died, I bathed him, with the aid of our 2 girls. Then we dressed him in his street clothes. I didn’t want his body going into the body bag by itself and I remembered that I…
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The Day You Died,
I recently read a well written piece called “On the day I die” I thought it was beautiful, it resonated with me and gave me inspiration for my own piece of writing. The day you died, I knew you were gone but I waited for you. In a haze of disbelief and shock I waited for you to walk up to me. Minutes and hours ticked over with family and…
The Duality of Widowhood
The definition of the word “duality” is as follows: 1. the quality or condition of being dual 2. an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism. “the photographs capitalize on the dualities of lightness and dark, stillness and movement.” I think it is more than safe to say that every widowed…
It’s Simple, Really~
I pause and think sometimes often as to the pressures put upon those who grieve. Upon widow/ers, certainly, though I know it pertains to pretty much anyone who grieves. The griefers, as I call them us. What pressures? you might ask, though I know if you’re a widow/er, you know exactly what I’m talking about.Oh, you know…the pressures put…
You Would Be Proud of Me If You Weren’t Dead
So, one week ago today, on March 31st, in NYC, in a big giant concert hall and an even bigger audience watching the online live-stream, I was one of 11 speakers, chosen to give a TED talk, at the TEDx event, held at Adelphi University. My talk was titled: “When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing As Moving On”, and it was all about how we…
Months of Meaning~
The number 4 figures loudly and persistently for me this year. The month of March figures just as hugely. The end of May rings loudly in my heart too. Chuck and I lived on the road, adventuring in our Happily Homeless travels, for 4 years. In those 4 years, we traveled all of the lower 48 states and oh, the sights we saw. I saw places and…
Dear new widows,
About a month ago a woman, with whom I worked briefly, experienced the death of her son by suicide. I did not reach out to her until last week. I wanted to, but I also knew she was being bomb barded with emails texts and phone calls. When I did write to her, I just wrote the truth, the raw very un-pc truth. I did not expect a response; I just hoped…
Kelley Lynn at TedX
Dearest Friends: Today I will stand before an audience of thousands and deilver my TEDx talk titled: “When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing As Moving On.” The talk is a message for everyone. Not just widowed people – everyone. It is about love and loss, and the way that we, as a society, mishandle the language and behaviors we…
Writing From the Depths of my Heart~
My dearest love, my beloved husband. D. It’s 4 years since you and I drove to the ER at Eisenhower Medical Center in Palm Springs. It is now 4 years since you and I began our final Happily Homeless travels, travels that began on a sunny May day in NJ in 2009, as you got into the UHaul truck with the few of our belongings that we’d kept…
Bulldogs
Sometimes when you lose someone you hold on to every Tangible item you can. Joey was raised with bulldogs and it was his dream to breed his own dogs and show them. He was great at anything he did and his dogs were no exception. He created his own bloodline of beautiful healthy bulldogs. When he was alive he would tell me if anything happen to him…
Seaworthy
sea·wor·thy ˈsēˌwərT͟Hē/ adjective (of a vessel) in a good enough condition to sail on the sea. Sometimes, something unexpected happens, and it gives you a new look at something, or a new look at yourself maybe. Sometimes, everything just lines up in the way it is supposed to, so that the universe can deliver to you, exactly what it is that…
Getting my Footing. Not.
Groundhog Day. Do you ever feel that widowhood is like Groundhog Day? A wide and conflicting range of emotions exist in widowhood. As many as you can name, from A-Z, and many more that can’t be named, only felt. Emotions that veer wildly about in one’s mind and heart and body. For most of us, over time, the hardest ones seemingly…