I received a call last weekend that took me a week, and much anxiety, to return. Back when I first met Michael, I was quickly introduced to his best friend. He’s a wonderful guy, the perfect and loyal friend to Michael, and he was also his first boyfriend. They basically grew up together as adults. They saw each other go through many triumphs and…
LGBTQ+ Widowed
When good things happen to sad people.
Okay, so here is my dilemma. What am I supposed to do when life is going well. Or, well enough? I have been publicly writing, blogging, for three and a half years now. At first it was to keep family and friends up to date with Michael’s battle with his brain cancer. Back then I wrote about medical updates, explaining the next chemotherapy trial,…
Ranting & Raving. But Not Mad.
I sat earlier in the week in my parent’s living room. I watched as my mother struggled to move about the house with her walker. I watched as my father tried to anticipate her every move. I saw how carefully he has to think about where she will sit, and will she feel comfortable there. I sat as she talked about her pain. I sat as her thoughts became…
Yellow Roses
The day this posts, April 11th, is my daughter’s 20th birthday. No longer a teenager. Maybe not quite a full adult, but a day to let her know how much I love her, and how I wish for only good things in her future. Rather than buy her some new gadget, I decided to spend a little extra, and let her know what I truly thought of her. She is my diamond.
Disappointment
I received an email from a friend today. She decided that she needed to be direct with me about the status of our friendship. She said that she doesn’t know how to be in a friendship with me anymore, and that she has felt this way ever since Michael died. She feels like any pain, loss, disappointment or loneliness that she has experienced in her…
Even If The Shoe Doesn’t Fit, Try Wearing It.
Talk about having some big shoes to fill. Or in my case, some tall stilettos. I am very gracious, and honored, that Michele has given me this opportunity to share with you on a weekly basis. I know that many of you looked forward to reading her words, or taking inspiration, from her journey. Yet, I do understand her decision to modify her course…
Still A Toddler
Well, it’s Sunday night, and I just realized I needed to get to writing my Monday post. I have kept very busy today with home improvement projects. And, because of Spring being at my door, I have been miserable with allergies. I seem to be popping Benadryl all day long, as if they were breath mints, which is likely why I have been so drowsy all day…
And the Oscar goes to…
No, I’m not watching The Academy Awards. Not that it doesn’t interest me. I used to be one of those people who saw every single film nominated, even the foreign and sometimes documentary. I love film, and I love story telling, but that love, those interests, are part of those things that have dropped by the wayside. Friends and family are still…
Broken Hearts Club
Well, it’s Saturday night, February 12th, and I’m sitting here alone. My son has a friend sleeping over, and I can hear their laughter in the distant room, but other than that all I hear is the sound of a fountain next to my front window. I have been here most of the evening, sitting on my couch, doing some writing, surfing the net with a profound…
I Think I’m Ready To Start Dating. I Think.
I think I’m ready to try my hand at dating. I think. In thinking about the possibility of dating, I did something I have never done before, I went back and read something I wrote during my early days of being widowed. It was a post from my own blog, where I was discussing how our song, “Something Stupid,” came to be.In that post I was talking about…
Shades of Blue
Blue has never been my color. I prefer to wear shades of grey, black or tan, although they are usually offset by my blue jeans. Blue has never been a color that I use in decorating my home, as it doesn’t do much for me.So, why then, have I chosen to wear these blue “shades” all the time? I have nothing against the color mind you. Actually, I used…
I Had A Dream
I had a dream. Well, first of all, just having a dream is significant for me. I can count the number of dreams I have had since Michael died on one hand. As with most dreams, there was no significant sense of time or place. In my dream I was returning home, which actually wasn’t my home. What was disturbing was that someone had stolen our bed. At…