I try not to think too much on all the things we would have done, family we would have built and life together we would have lived. I try not to imagine it too much, for there is a pain associated with the what-ifs and that which we were unable to fulfill as the soul mates we are. We lived our fairy tale. Our own Disney movie.Like a knight on a…
Yep, that’s me…
I miss the quirky awkwardness that was all ours. The waking up in the morning and making up songs about the cereal I was about to eat. The moments where he’d surprise me….not with roses, but fried okra. Giggling like teenagers as we snuck out to fool around in random parking lots.Smiling at each other during cheesy movies and then getting in the…
Turn the Light On
The other night I was enjoying dinner with one of my great friends. She is also a widow and will be coming up on two years since the loss of her soul mate. As we sat and enjoyed our meals, drinks, conversation and company, it became obvious that in a restaurant full of people, we were the only ones laughing, smiling, toasting and enjoying the…
6 Words
I came across this article and video about “6 Word Memoirs” and how they put many people to test on what they would write. The history behind it was explained: “The six-word memoir is said to be rooted in a bet between Ernest Hemingway and a friend — supposedly, the author claimed he could write a short story in just six words. (He won with…
2010
Well, it’s 2010. I remember going into 2008 without Michael. It was the first year in which no history or memories would include him, a year in which reality took its place next to me on my throne of grief. It’s funny how my mind also worked in ways to revert back to a time when he was still living. I’d sign checks with 2007, set dates with friends…
A Stocking Full of Memories
Last Christmas my family started incorporating Michael back into Christmas by filling a stocking full of gift-cards, gadgets and more that Michael would have loved….but I could use. It was heart warming to see them remember and bring to life some of his favorite things and places from memories passed.This year my family arrived and handed over…
Happy Anniversary
December 23rd will mark the four year anniversary of our love eternal. We wrote our own vows, we rocked into each other the whole ceremony, we had a moment in time where all else melted away, we sealed our devotion with a kiss.It wasn’t about the dress, venue, gifts, or cake….it was simply about our love being personified.Nearly three years of…
Napping before the show….
I’m tired.I’ve miscalculated my energy for this month, which has equated to many a’naps.In the midst of the over-exertion and holiday bustle, I drained my tank with no one in sight to grab me some gas. It’s just a month of lots of everything!December 23rd will be our four year anniversary and December 27th will be my birthday…heck, and lets throw…
I Believe in Fairy Tales
Michael’s my prince charming. He saved me from the poisoned apple, kissed me out of an eternal sleep, slayed the dragon, and swept me up into his safe arms. And as soon as I was swept up, I felt like he was pulled away from me.But, I still believe in fairy tales. It has been through my fellow widows; their stories, pictures, memories and…
Tough Month
“December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.” Mr. Twain hit the nail on the head with this quote, but December truly is a month that tests my perseverance more then the other 11 on the calendar.I think as widows/widowers there are times of the…
Thanksgiving
With the holidays upon us I started creating a list of things for our organization to make this time a more bearable one. I thought I’d share it with you all:The holidays have a way of magnifying our loss and can be a difficult and confusing time of year. “What to do? How to act? How to wake up and seize the day?” are just a few of the thoughts…
Release
I am a teapot (minus the short and stout)…or should I say, a tea kettle.There are moments in my day, week, or month where the “pressure”/emotions inside of me become so overwhelming that they have to find some outlet to release all that is about to combust inside of my heart.Since I am unequipped with a whistling spout, in most cases it is…