Hey Guys, came upon these at another great blog site . I especially like 4 and 6. Take care, T4… My heart grew somber with grief, and wherever I looked I saw only death. My own country became a torment and my own home a grotesque abode of misery. All that we had done together was now a grim ordeal without him. My eyes searched everywhere for him,…
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Plus One
Not long after Chris died, I received a wedding invitation addressed to “Wendy and Guest.” It was one of the first visual affronts to my newly-acquired widowed senses. I remember looking at the envelope and wondering, “Who the heck is Wendy and Guest?” I certainly sympathize with the couple who sent the invitation. I’m confident that they…
The screaming
It started when the policeman told me he was dead. I was still sitting in my car in my parent’s driveway at the time. It was loud. It was hysterical. It was guttural. It was primal. It continued as I was led inside the house, up the stairs. It went on for a long time before I wore myself out.It stopped long enough to listen to the police and the…
We Are More ….
…. than the word, “widowed”. So. Much. More. I used to hate that word. In the first two years out. Hated. Abhorred. Refused to use it or answer to it.I’ve come to learn that’s a very common response. The only widows I knew were older. And I in no way wanted to be associated with them. And then I started forming a group of young widows in my…
Heartbreak, Hot wings, and Hope
Here I am, one of nine men sitting on nine bar stools, all of us without wedding rings. The others look a little older than me but it’s an unfair comparison; in my mind’s eye I’m still 30, the age when I met my wife. But here we are, nonetheless, peers, or at least men of similar relationship status – lonely. Every guy on every stool is…
The News
It was Friday afternoon, and I was busy wrapping up some work that had been piled on my desk. I was looking forward to the end of the week, and for some relaxing time on the weekend. There was a lot on my mind, with Camp Widow being just around the corner, and things to get done at home. Suddenly my cell phone rang, and I could see it was my…
I’m happy
I’m gonna come out and say it. I’m happy. I’m a widow and I’m happy.It’s not because of another man either, and I didn’t win the lottery. I didn’t discover extra life insurance money or an extra $20,000 in my savings account. I still haven’t found a new place to live. (If you live in LA, I’m looking for a 3 bdrm, 2 bath on the…
Next Week
Next week, at this exact time, many of y’all will be home…and when I say home, I mean at Camp Widow.Though I will be unable to attend this year, it was my honor to be among fellow widows and widowers at last year’s celebration of love, life and survival. My fellow widows have been a blood line and a huge reason I’ve made it this far and actually…
why not?
Written five months “post Jeff”…. My sister, Kirsten, was lending an ear the other day when I was having a hard time. I was upset about the whole lack of hope and happiness thing. I didn’t know why I should try anymore…with anything. He’s gone. Nothing matters anymore. So I said to her, “Why? Why bother?” She said, “I guess it comes down to…
A long-term thing.
My daughter is 8 years old. She will be 9 soon. Her Dad died when she was 7. She is a bright, beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent child. My blog name for her is Miss K. … …and Miss K has had a rough day.For Miss K, most days are rough: she misses her Dad. But she copes with her day at school. No….. she does more than that …
I’d Like a Freakin’ Break ….
… from life. From life as I know it. From life as I’ve known it for the past 3+ years. I am overwhelmed.In the past month I have replaced 2 air conditioning units, fixed one septic system, been told that tomorrow I will have a hole knocked into my bedroom wall so that a plumbing leak can be addressed. And then had another AC unit break down…
Nine More Days…..
In just 9 more days I get to see some of my favorite people on the planet! A few of them are pictured here. It seems like only yesterday I was packing my suitcase and heading home after an amazing and exhausting weekend of Camp Widow. How can a year have passed already?I remember thinking after last year’s camp that a nice break from all the…