Like many other “fandoms”, being a fan of an NFL team has its ups and downs. And whether you like the NFL or hate it, or really have no opinion one way or the other, it’s a huge part of American sports. I first got into watching football when I was just a small kid. […]
Eras, Part II
A chunk of my friend circle at UCLA were not only artists, but also musicians or otherwise involved in music. One of my friends was a DJ and not long after I’d met Mario, I found out he was a DJ as well. I don’t mean disk jockey like on the radio, but DJ like […]
Embracing the Abyss of Grief
The day before my birthday in 2021, I wrote this original piece below over on my Medium account (modified slightly for this post). Since we’re rapidly coming up upon the anniversary of Mario’s expiry date, I revisited it. I definitely feel like I’m in a different place now 3 years hence, but I also feel […]
“All of the Moments You Take for Granted”
Trigger warnings for death by illness and mention of suicide. I’ve recently been watching video blogs posted by Jackson Galaxy on Youtube – a guy known as the “cat daddy” who originally came to fame through being a cat behaviorist who got his own tv show, “My Cat From Hell”. The videos are documenting the […]
Eras, Part I
It seems like another lifetime ago. Some people separate their life into decades, which I used to do. I rather like the word “era” now. The dictionary defines that as, a long and distinct period of history with a particular feature or characteristic, and I think that fits, although I don’t necessarily agree that the […]
Good Fortune
You have to love when a year starts off well. “Well” is a very relative term, of course. What is well for me, may not be well for everyone, universally across the board. But for me, things are going well so far on many fronts. I’m heavy into signs, symbolism, omens and the like. On […]
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Mario and I chose cats over kids. I know full well that furry family members are not the same as kids but when you don’t have kids, you absolutely care about them in the same kind of ways. Without human children in your life, you really focus on the fact that your pets may only […]
Stuck in the Mud
With only 3 days until another year is done, I like to take time to reflect on how the year went overall, as well as things I want to include in the next 12 months. One of the things I’d really like to include is to overcome my own struggle with procrastination. Google’s Bard defines […]
The Holidays
Holiday time is often a real bummer when you’ve lost your spouse. Holidays seem to shine a brighter light on the fact that there is a missing person. When I first met Mario, he had grown to hate Christmas. I think he felt like after his parents divorced, there was just a lot of tension […]
Aging is not for the weak.
I’m an only child. As my parent’s get up into their 80s, it’s just me to look after them. I thought I’d at least have Mario to lean on when the time came when my parents (and his dad for that matter) needed more assistance. But nope, he’s not here to help me deal with […]
Pushing Comfort Zones
Last night I spoke in front of an audience of 50+ people. Public speaking is not my bag. I prefer the least amount of attention rather than a situation where all eyes are on me. I’m a nervous public speaker, even when it’s a topic I know a lot about. There are always some awkward […]
Optimizing
I’m kind of the polar opposite to my departed spouse when it comes to health. Oh sure, I had some “party years” back when I was younger, but by the time I hit 30, I was pretty much over all of that. Looking back, I honestly think that was a healthy approach to do all […]