There have been many days since Phil’s death that I was sure the sun could not possibly be shining…how dare that orb glow as if the world were right?! And then there have been other days when, unbelievably, that sun shone right on my head in the form of a blessing that was all the sweeter due to my familiarity with loss.Meet my nephew, Miles. He…
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If You’re Not Having a Good Time….
We had the annual “Mardi-Craw” this past Saturday. I think about my husband Daniel every day, in lots of different situations, but our annual crawfish boil is one particular day I think about him all day long and cuss him for not being there. I have to admit that for the past four crawfish boils since he died….we’ve had SPECTACULAR weather,…
Celebration
Celebration of life has become a popular description for funerals over the past few years. And while I agree with the concept, the reality of celebrating my husband’s life while trying to grasp the idea that he was not coming home, ever, was hard for me to do at his funeral. While the services we planned to commemorate Phil’s’ life were truly…
Widows and Teens
My 15 year-old daughter Anneke landed the role of Polly in Neil Simon’s play The Gingerbread Lady. In this play, Polly’s (Anneke) mother seems intent on self-destruction, and at one point in the play, Polly (Anneke) is moved to desperate tears, wanting her mother to be OK. Anneke was unable to perform the scene. She could not cry on stage and…
How ARE you?
I went with some new girlfriends to the rodeo last night. As it usually does when meeting new people, conversation turned to my history and my experience of being a widow. One of the girls had recently lost a sister-in-law and was sharing with me the difficulties her brother was experiencing. It has only been three months for him, but I was…
Exciting News
This image illustrates for me what widows do for each other. We pull each other up, brace each other from falling over the edge of despair, and we create a life line of hope for every other widow with whom we share a heart. Right now who comes to mind for you?Today’s exciting news is that this blog will be welcoming five other widows to join us as…
Hi there Sassy! Spicy here…. :)
Thanks for the wonderful introduction Tacalla! For those of you unfamiliar with the term, tacalla is a word which means two things that share the same name. We Michel(l)es have happily embraced the word and made it our own.I’m looking forward to sharing this blog with Michele, as we have shared so many other paths on this widow’s journey. It has…
Meet Michelle Dippel
Meet Sassy and Spicy. Also known as Michele and Michelle, and to some of you as the original “Widow Match.” We are pictured here at Michelle’s home in Texas celebrating the life of her husband, Daniel, who died in November of 2005 of laryngeal cancer. Our husbands died two months apart, we are the same age, we share a wicked sense of humor, and…
Widows as Agents of Peace?
Have you ever prayed for “peace in our world”? Or have you wondered when reading the day’s headlines why we can’t all get along? And on the days when the loss of your spouse is so heavy you can’t get out of bed do you think about being an agent of peace?! I have met so many amazing people on the road of healing. It seems that every day brings…
Death Knocks Again
When you have lived the grief experience others often assume you know “just what to say” to a friend or family member who has lost a person they love. Many times I have been the go-to person for advice on what to say, how to help, what not to say, and sometimes for requests to make a personal phone call to a fellow griever. Many times I feel…
Question Number Eighteen
Did you wear your husband’s clothes? For the first few weeks after Phil’s death anything that touched his body was sacred. His shoes were sitting just where he last left them, his lunchbox sat on top of the refrigerator, and his toothbrush was standing next to mine in the holder. One day I found one of his eyelashes and pressed it into a plastic…
The Big Red Day
My husband used to call Valentine’s Day ‘So What Day’…romantic, huh? He thought greeting cards were a waste of trees; that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose; and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was ridiculous.