My second Valentine’s without you. The first one was a fog. The second one I’m wide awake with full clarity to feel all the feelings. To say today is fine would be dishonest. Today is hard but I know that I’ll be ok. I am safe.
Since Tin’s passing, I have found that my open sharing of this journey has provided a voice for many others that just aren’t ready to share, don’t know how too or feel they are completely alone in their grief. They just need to feel safe. Sharing my loss doesn’t make it easier, it just is different. It doesn’t mean that I am “moving on”. I can only move forward…
For those of us that are widowed, we know all too well that you feel a tremendous weight bearing down making it so very difficult to stand. The energy it can take makes it even hard to lift your head some days. We struggle to understand where this new weight has come from. Is it loss? Is it hopelessness? Feeling unsafe? The odd thing is that those feelings are due to lack and that doesn’t explain the feeling of weight. Through sharing my journey I have discovered what is weighing down on us is actually gifted wings…
I never asked for them but the Universe has a plan so I have been given the wings of the widowed. Heavy, but hauntingly beautiful, these wings weigh us down at first but, as we move forward we strengthen, stand and stretch. It’s up to us to realize these wings are there and embrace that they can help lift us up. We can’t give them back. We can’t hide them. We can only choose how to use them. I can either stay hidden under their cover or trust they will help me soar safe. I choose the latter. When we take our struggles and see them as a potential gift, it gives us the opportunity to change our worlds. My life has changed drastically by shifting my mindset. There are many of us that carry the different wings of the wounded. Whatever YOUR wound, your struggle can be your biggest strength if you choose to use it. Sharing your story empowers you to help yourself and help others. That is uplifting!
Today, on the day that so many others are posting about flowers, candy, arguing about where to go to dinner and aggravated that all reservations are booked, stop and think if there is anyone in your world that might be hiding under their wounded wings. Reach out and offer a hand to help them stand, stretch, strengthen and start to soar. Sometimes a simple “I see you” can help reassure them that they are safe. Feel free to share this post because there is probably someone you know that this resonates with.
Now I want you to let this next statement sink in –
It’s ok to show the world your wings…
