This is going to be short and sweet. I have so much going on this week that there is no time to really sit down and write something of value or deep thought, so Im going to share a short stanza / piece that I wrote a couple days ago on my Facebook page. I was going about my day, at 4.5 years into this “my husband is dead” life, when all of a…
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Death and Life
Three big names died this week. All from cancer. Actor Alan Rickman. Singer / songwriter David Bowie. And today, Celine Dion’s husband and manager, Rene Angelil. At the same time, my own family has been dealing with my mom’s recent cancer diagnosis back in late November, and the lead-up to her surgery, which was this past Tuesday. So many…
Ahhh…Life….
I ain’t crazy, like I was beginning to think, and like I so often feel. I’m just in a new world. I’m searching for meaning, striving to stitch a new life for myself, stitch my heart and soul into the whole of the Love that he left behind for me. That’s huge but not in the scheme of time and the Universe….right? It just feels…
Without You
So last week, I completely forgot to write my Widows Voice blog. Just completely forgot. And I didn’t forget that night and then remember the next morning, which I have done MANY times, and then the blog post is a bit late being posted, like today. No. This time I just forgot altogether. I call it “Widow Fail.” Actually, I think it deserves a…
Home, Heart and Facing Fears
Last I wrote, which was two weeks ago, I was really struggling with this move, and trying to learn some patience with it. I was on my way to my first backpacking trip with Mike. I’d have to say, I found so much peace in the woods. We’ve been hiking nearly every day we get a chance in the past month now… and it really is helping to settle me.
Stars and the Universe in Jerome~
First of all, I’m so damn glad the holidays are over that it almost makes me see stars swirling around my head, like in the cartoons I remember watching when I was a kid.New Year’s doesn’t count as a holiday for me, not only because it’s been decades since I stayed up for the big countdown, not only because I don’t make New Year’s…
Juggling Wishes
Every once in awhile I am able to see myself through another person’s eyes; sort of like looking up and seeing an image in a mirror, and then realizing the face that is reflected there is your own. The observations from these unguarded moments usually provide some serious food for thought. Recently I went to see the movie Brothers. I will leave out…
Keep Them Alive at Christmas
As I sit down at my parents house in Massachusetts to write this blog, about 15 minutes before midnight, it is Christmas Eve. By the time many of you read this, it will be Christmas Day. I find it fitting that Christmas Day would fall on a Friday this year, therefore making it my day to write in the Widows Voice blog. Christmas Day, and the entire…
Trying not to Grinch the Holidays~
I feel like such a grinch with the holiday season. Honestly, it was never a big day for me or my husband, especially once the kids left home. The days we celebrated, the days that meant so much to us, were our birthdays~the days we each came into this world~and our anniversary~the day we joined our lives. That wet-blanket feeling of the…
Touching the Past
I sometimes wonder what would happen if all the wishes people made on stars came true. Where would my life be today if my whims were met by the imaginary wish granter in the sky who hears the things our hearts whisper when we witness those flashes of light across the night sky? One thing is certain, my heart has definitely not been whispering over…
Experimenting at Life~
I’m experimenting. I’m making decisions that go against my nature and against what I’d like to do, and, instead, I’m doing shit that is way out of my comfort zone. These decisions wouldn’t have been outside my comfort zone when Chuck was alive, but they have been, and remain so, now. Grief changes us, doesn’t it?In order to be…
At the End of the Day
I feel like I have covered this grief topic in writing at least 10,000 times since my husband’s death. I also feel like no matter how many times I express it, there really is no way to ever properly express what this is. This, being the loneliness and longing that comes at the end of the day, in that space where my husband’s life used to…