I oftentimes read posts/blogs of people who are grieving who speak about how they feel, after some time has passed, as if they present themselves to the world in a way that isn’t real but that they feel is required of them. In that, they don’t show their grief to the world. For many reasons, of course, but they feel unable to show who they…
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This one life.
Whether you believe in God, reincarnation, or just nothing; this life, this one you are living right now, this is it. You will never again live this life as this person. You will never again live these experiences and learn these lessons. Every life is unique and so very special. Why do we as a society not see that? At some point in almost every…
A Path Built on Love
BIG. LIFE. CHANGES. I will be leaving NYC. I will be leaving my apartment, my teaching job of 16 years (that one hurts), and the greatest city in the world – the only city I have known and called “home” for the past 26 years, since I was 18 years old and moved here from small-town Groton, Massachusetts. I know this is the right decision for me at…
Loved Still, Loved Always~
These days that stretch and wind and turn and curve Nights that do the same This life filled with unknowing and uncertainty And grief and loss and wandering and wondering Roads that stretch and wind and turn and curve Thousands of miles since you died, my LoveThousands of hours and minutes Memories streaming past my window Streaming through me and…
My week
This week. I feel like this week is still so raw I’m not sure I can gather my thoughts. But I will try. Tuesday was my 8 year wedding anniversary. I took the kids to dinner and we had ice cream after. Sometimes I can still feel exactly where I would be if Joey was here. That night was like that for me. I was never super sad. I just sat back…
My Davy Jones Moment
Please excuse me while I quote Marcia Brady from the famous episode of “The Brady Bunch”, where The Monkees Davy Jones kisses her cheek, and she holds it and declares: “I will never wash this cheek again.” Wednesday, August 31, 2016, my biggest crush in life, Harry Connick Jr., kissed my cheek. And hugged me. At least 3 times. And sang a song about…
So I Don’t Fade~
I do love writing for Widows Voice. It’s my saving grace each week. But I also struggle, many weeks, to come up with something to write here. Not because I have nothing to write about. But because there is so much to write about that words and sentences fail me.Each time I sit down to write, here or on my personal blog, or on my Happily…
Another first without him
This time last year my daughter started kindergarten. It didn’t seem real that this monumental time was happening and her dad wasn’t there to see it. My heart always grieves heavier for my children when I think about all the things they are going to miss with their dad. So many footstones that will take place over their lifetime, and they will…
Here’s to Grief
Sometimes it’s pretty cool how grief can unify people. This past week has been an especially social one, and grief played a part in each and every situation that came up. Between all the busyness of life, neither Mike nor I have made much time for hanging out with friends since I moved almost a year ago. With many of his friends not local, and…
If You Werent Dead
The other day, a dear widower friend called me, and could immediately sense in my tone, that something was off. “What’s wrong?”, he said. “Nothing,” I answered, not because I was trying to be vague, but more because I couldn’t really identify a specific thing that was wrong. So he said: “Come on. I know you better than that. Something’s wrong. What…
Idle Thoughts instead of~
Idle thoughts because I feel like shit and can’t summon up the energy to form a full sentence~ Being sick sucks. Being sick while widowed sucks bigger. It adds to the sense of aloneness. Even when it’s only a head cold, but the exhaustion of living years without your person sets in at the same time and it becomes bigger than it is.It makes me…
The Things Inside
*(I am filling in for Mike today, as he had some emergencies at work come up that needed to be taken care of, and couldn’t fulfill his widowed blogging duties for today. And as everyone knows, if the widowed person cannot fulfill the widowed duties, another widowed Runner-Up steps in and fulfills those duties for them. So, here I am, and Mike will…