“We envy others, for we see their lives in broad outline, while forced to live ours in every detail.” — Robert Brault I’m leading a weekend with a group of widows for our organization and there was one commonality within the group:All had felt that their life, choices, look, path was less than when they compared it to others. Even more so,…
Recognizing the pain
I’ve been traveling a ton the past week and in the midst of that, found myself looking through notebooks filled with quotes and thoughts that have inspired my being. One in particular, stuck out this evening: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” Whoa!If that isn’t poignant to the ebbs and flows of our lives as…
Push It
“The answer is to push-in rather than hold back, to get into the thick mess of it, and to put your whole weight into it. … [This realization] has given me the freedom to fully engage all aspects of my life, to stop being a spectator, and to throw my whole weight into it. Because, no, my motives aren’t perfect. They do make a mess of things.
Ill-Equipped
It’s a funny thing.The breaking of the shell that once encased a broken heart.A shell that unveils a stronger, more resilient heart….person…life.No longer protected by the bitterness and loathing of what occurred, you find yourself open and vulnerable to the elements of a life you’re ready to live.With that comes some of life’s irritants;…
Again
I wish I could spend a the monring writing someting truly poetic, but I’ve been swamped holding our first gala for the military widows the AWP serves and I feel that only one excerpt fully embodies what the night, these amazing women, and what we all are capable of doing when we see the light.”to love life, to love it evenwhen you have no stomach…
Pain
“Which do you want: the pain of staying where you are, or the pain of growth?”- Judith LasaterI know that pain is inevitable. In a way, it is something to be looked forward to. But, damn, it still hurts. Causes stress. Doubt. Fear. But like building muscles, we must first be broken down to have the ability to come back…
Faith
When he died, my faith died. Faith in a god, life, living… There was only one thing I wanted to believe, that he’d come back home. When that didn’t come to fruition, it was believing that life would end shortly thereafter. It didn’t. Nothing changed. It wouldn’t change until I started believing.Believing that I could survive. That I should…
Load
It was one day after the one year mark of losing him. I was on a plane to Spain. One backpack in tow. Two sets of clothes. Euros. Some photos. My feet. 225 miles to hike on unknown terrain that had no map, but seashells in the ground as markers or random arrows painted on tree trunks. But before that flight and the pilgrimage, came the…
Deny
How many things do we deny. Deny ourselves to feel, grasp, understand, embrace. Deny out of fear. Injustice. Pain. Feeling. Yet there is a simple truth that we all innately know, yet somehow try to veer ourselves away from. In one small word..One opposite…. Acceptance. For it is only when we don’t deny the reality of something, that we can…
5
***Written in 2010, but with a 2013 photo. With this year being my 5th Anniversary, I thought it a perfect time to re-post. :)*** This weekend I’ll be at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. 8 stages, over a hundred bands, but to me it is so much more. Last October, my best friend (and fellow widow) and I ventured out on the green grass,…
Go, don’t follow the flow
I’m a pretty laid back cat. Put me in a room with great music, good company and a cold beer and I’m set. But that’s all external. Those are creature comforts. When it comes to the internal…. The decisions I make that will determine my life at that current moment. I’ve learned that the one thing you can’t be is laid back. You must be vigilant. A…
Solution
I’ve recently been on the search for a new home. It’s not a long distance from my current casa, but in an area I love and come alive in. During many of the showings of the houses I’ve found enticing, I’ve been bombarded with one question over and over from my brokers (aka parents). As we entered each place and I’d point out something I loved, they…