There are way too many widowed people around. Way. And is it just me or do there seem to be more and more all of the time? It’s as if our “club” is growing by leaps and bounds.And that, my friends, is one of the worst/best things in my world. Last week I met three newly widowed people and two who are not-so-newly widowed. It broke my heart. As if…
I Am Afraid ….
…. because I am starting to realize that not everyone on this path …. “gets it”. Yes, that’s a broad term, but I’ve used it and seen it used hundreds of times amongst widowed people. Since Jim died I have discovered that when widowed people are together (or writing to one another) many words don’t have to spoken. Most emotions and…
The One Thing ….
…. that still brings huge waves of pain and grief to me, even after almost three years, is also one of the most beautiful things in our home. It is my piano.It’s not our original piano …. it’s mine. Jim bought me a piano a few years after we were married. He knew how very much I wanted one and so we saved up for a while and he bought me a…
The Grass Isn’t Always Greener ….
…. just because you’re in a relationship. Most relationships have their bumps and turns. But throw in two widowed people, their children (8, with & without teenage hormones), the difference in the time of their widowedness (6 1/2 years) and the grief that each still carries ….. and you don’t just have a few bumps and turns. You have a…
There Will Always Be ….
…. set backs. I know that’s a given. Life is full of set backs. Everyone’s life, not just mine. Or yours. So why is it then, that when I am hit with one of them …. I’m surprised?Last week was a set back. One huge, hairy set back. It started the moment I arrived home from a trip and continued on through Sunday (and is even bleeding a little…
And So It Goes ….. and goes and goes and goes
This thing called grief. I just got back from a fantastic trip to Germany. I was with a group of 46 other people and we toured around for nearly 2 weeks. It was my first trip “alone”. I’ve gone on trips with the kids or with friends, but I went by myself on this one. I stayed by myself in all of the hotels.Most of the other 46 people were…
The Things I/We Didn’t Need to Hear ….
(this was originally posted on Feb. 16, 2008, almost 2 months after Jim’s death. It was in response to many of my blog readers asking me what to “not say” to a grieving person”. This is the 2nd time I have posted it on WV, but I think we need to remind people ….. every once in a while). OK, buckle your seat belts. And please, please, please…
Should I Be Happy ….
….. to know that Jim is in Heaven? Yes, someone asked me this …… 10 days after Jim’s sudden death. Interesting question. Should I/we be happy that Jim is in heaven? Well, of course if I were a “good” Christian then I’d have to give you the pat, “good” answer: ‘Of course I’m glad that he’s up there, with God, praising and singing (though he…
Eat, Pray ……
….. and Love. No, not the book. But just those three small words. I was looking at my copy of the book this morning, wondering what I was going to post about for WV. And then I started thinking about those 3 words. And about how small they are, but also about how much power and emotion has been packed into each of them since Jim died.First …..
THE Valley ….
…. you know the one. I think that most people, even those who are “non-religious”, are familiar with its name. It’s the big-daddy of them all. The Valley of the Shadow of Death. It’s mentioned in the Bible and has been referenced in countless books, movies, TV shows, etc.It’s been on my mind a lot lately. You see, I never really knew what it was…
Love is Not ….
…. a cure-all. For grief. Or for anything that goes along with grief …. like an aching heart, feeling lonely, wanting your spouse back, or feeling misunderstood.Finding love again is wonderful in so many ways. Ultimately it makes you feel like a woman again, rather than a widow (or, I imagine, like a man, rather than a widower). But it…
Would I Be a Better Spouse ….
…. the second time around? After pondering this a bit …. I have to be honest. And say yes. Don’t get me wrong …. I don’t think I was a bad wife. Not at all.Jim and I had a fantastic relationship. We loved each other more with each year that passed. I knew that we had a better marriage …. or at least seemed happier …. than many people I…