APRIL FOOL’S DAY

Laughter is medicine for the soul, they say.
Humor is the “glue” that holds a relationship together, they say.
But DARK humor? It can become a survival tool too, baby! I say.

I am willing to bet my tax refund 💵 to say that one doesn’t truly know dark humor until you lose your person.

Shortly after my husband died, I remember when I started listening to podcasts about widowhood and grief. That’s when I heard “dead person jokes” for the first time. It was shocking, jarring and deeply irreverent because his death was no laughing matter. Yet I found it both sacrilegious and hilarious at the same time. I would walk alone, or hike with our girl dog June, and find myself crying and laughing all at once. Widowed people saying things like, “He died on me two weeks before our wedding anniversary… Ruuude!!!” or “I made a mess of our finances, but it’s her fault because she went and died on me!!!” or “I love it, I now get all the closet space and can spread out in our bed.” 😳

I couldn’t conceive how they were able to go there, and still find humor in what is most likely the worst event of your life. And at the same time, I knew that I wanted to be like them one day… I wanted to be able to laugh and joke about the most traumatic, horrifying, heartbreaking loss of my life. But not yet.

Definitely a head-trip.😩

TO JOKE OR NOT TO JOKE

As I was considering one day joining the dark side of widow humor, “Estás loca!!!” I said to myself. “Self, you have lost your mind!” Indeed I did. And I still haven’t found it—there’s a BOLO out on it 👀 in case you see it.
I really need it back! 🤣

Humor, laughter, fun—those were such pillars of our relationship from the beginning and I knew that I didn’t want that to die with him. -Yes, pun intended-

The Halloween after my husband died, it had been about 10 months. I was thinking about costumes for me, and the only one that felt appropriate was a “Black Widow,” or some variation of that. When I told our kids what I was thinking, they were petrified. “NOOOOOO!!! Mamiiiiiii!!!! Stop it!!!!”

“Too soon???” I asked. “I’m just trying to find some humor in this. If I’m going to be a widow, might as well find something to laugh about.” Didn’t convince them. I ended up not dressing up. Halloween was always such a fun holiday for us as a family. I too wasn’t ready.

The lightheartedness of days like today can feel like another stab to the heart ❤️‍🩹. Please, let us take care of our hearts. And, if you are ready to join the dark side—of humor, that is—I’m sharing a few “widow jokes” that I can now handle:

WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE

Why didn’t the widow attend the 9am funeral?
She wasn’t a mourning person.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.

“My husband’s last words were, ‘You’re going to be fine.’ Apparently, ‘fine’ means eating cereal for dinner for three years straight.”

“I finally have total control over the thermostat; it only cost me my soul and a very expensive funeral.”

“Dating as a widow is great because the bar is so low: as long as you have a pulse, you’re already doing better than the last guy.”

“I’m in a long-distance relationship… very, very long distance.”😆

“My grieving process involves 10% crying and 90% wondering where the hell he hid the passwords and the physical title to the car.”

“People ask how I’m doing, and I just tell them I’m ‘living the dream’—if that dream is a dark comedy directed by Tim Burton.”

Dear April Fool’s Day—Joke is on you!
Because We, the Grievers, are still laughing 😂 and crying 😭… but also laughing 😆…and crying…😢

What is making you laugh/cry these days? Sharing is caring 💔

Hasta la próxima! Until next week Peace.