My personal growth, as well as dedication to the American Widow Project, has brought me more healing than I could have ever fathomed. I still attend each event hoping to get as much out of it as a widow who RSVPed, and continuously I am not disappointed. This evening though, I received a call that meant so very much to me.I rarely hear or ask what…
Military Widowed
Announcement
***I’d like to take a moment out of my life to make this announcement*** I like being me. I like being the wife and widow of a hero. I like the knowledge that I have the best of family, friends and pets.I like the oddities of my being that I’m still being introduced to. I like being introduced to them. I like sunshine through my blinds when I…
When Does Grief End
Hey Y’all, I’m short for words today, but wanted to share a poem I hope will help you as much as it has helped me.When Does Grief End? Grief hits us like a ton of bricks, Flattens us like a steamroller, Hurls us into the depths of despair. We know in a flash when grief hits, But when does it end? Like the month of March, Grief rushes in like a…
Knowledge
Someone once said that it is knowledge sets us free, but as I’ve learned, everyone’s knowledge is different. After Michael died I knew nothing but one thing in life. I could no longer answer questions on why or how things turned out as they did. I could not tell you right from left. As time has passed though, I have embraced the unknown and learned…
Shine A Light
I must admit…I love films. Foreign especially, but anything thought and emotionally provoking will do. What can I say? Michael and I first kissed while watching “American Beauty”, it’s just the kind of couple we are.Tonight I found myself watching “Anna and the King”, a remake of “The King and I”, which I thoroughly enjoyed with the widowhood…
Charlie
I’ll never forget the night I got the news…. Charlie had cancer.The dog that has been my best friend through life’s most painful tribulations. The dog that greeted me at our patio every day back from college. The dog that has never run out of love to give with his kisses and a simple tail wag. The dog that is the son to Michael and I. The dog…
I Smile
I must say, with each passing year it’s as if another layer of sludge is washed away from my life….The life that began the day Michael was killed. I life I used to loathe to the core of my being. But for once, I’ve been watching, I’ve been learning. I’ve been trying to understand that which I don’t, and yet, with no answers I smile with the…
Here We Go
It’s here. My fourth year of not being able to refer to my love alive. But as somber as it sounds, it’s also my fourth year of being living proof of just what the power and strength of love can get you through.I’ve never set resolutions and hopes for each year, other than just trying to find more good days than bad in the months ahead….even if…
2011
It’s here. 2011. Another year I venture into without Michael. Officially the 4th year that I cannot reference Michael to being in.I do not know what this year will bring as each year has been different. 2007-2008- The years of the “fog” and immense anger displacement on loved ones for not getting what the heck I was going through. 2009- Pretty…
Stocking Full of Memories
****This is a re-post from last year, but still one of my favorite moments in seeing the spark reignite in my family, as if the light had been turned on and they looked past his death and forward into his life. I’ll update next week on what gift they made/got for him! Merry Christmas**** Last Christmas my family started incorporating Michael back…
Loveinity
This Thursday will mark our 5 year wedding anniversary. As I’ve stated through the years, this day has always been more difficult for me than any other…including the day he was killed. You see, I don’t define Michael’s life and our life together by the day he was killed, I’ve always defined it by our eternal love, and no day signifies that more…
Sand
I’m just really tired. I’ve sat and thought of something to write about but it eludes me and my lids become heavier. It’s December, the hardest month of every year since Michael was killed, someone very close to me is ill, I have amazing things going on too, and it piles and piles. I have a damn grain of sand in my shoe of life.I think I just need…