It’s an interesting thing how people around you say they understand and they will be there for you. However when you have a tough day and they respond by saying:
“I thought you said you were ok and moving on.”
“I was ok that day but there are no rules to what’s going on in my heart and my head.”
In all honesty I don’t know how to say what it feels like when you let someone in a little and they back away instead of standing by you. The best I can do is share the lyrics to P!NK’s song “Attic”
My Attic
My attic is full of pages, full of crazy
Cluttered spaces that you could not cross
My attic is full of bones and full of hopeless
Young emotions that just won’t grow up
I keep hiding the keys in all these
Places even I can’t find
Hoping, one day, you’ll find them all
And I wanna let you see inside my attic
Inside this olive skin are paper thin
Illusions that I’m tougher than I am
And I’m guarded, castle walls from all the falls
And break up calls and never should’ve beens
But don’t go pushing too hard
I’m not so easy to manipulate
I will give you all of my secrets
If you promise you can brave my attic
And I swear, not tryna be vindictive
I’m just terrified that you might see me different
You’ll change your mind, tell me that I’m crazy
Tell me that I’m okay, tell me that you’ll stay
‘Cause my attic is silver plans and one night stands
That numbers can’t begin to calculate
My attic is up the stairs and waiting there
Are lonely nights, they keep me wide awake
I keep hiding the keys in all these
Places even I can’t find
Hoping, one day, you’ll find them all
‘Cause I wanna let you see inside my attic
My attic, my attic, my attic
My attic, my attic
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