Posting here each Saturday has been an incredible opportunity. I love when someone tells me they’ve shared my post(s) with someone else who’s lost a spouse or experienced another kind of significant loss. Even those who haven’t have expressed their appreciation for the insight they’ve derived from some of these posts. That is what keeps me writing.
After the first few weeks of my husband’s passing, I found myself surfing the internet late in to the evening searching for guidance with surviving the intense grief that follows a sudden and major blow to one’s life as you knew it.
Late one night, I came upon a link to a blog written by a widower. I can’t recall his name, but I recall his post’s content was hopeful. What I remember most, however, was that he was a musician originally from my home state of New Jersey, who’d relocated to Georgia like I had just a few years earlier. Using his blog site contact link, I wrote to him to say that his post had brought me comfort.
Ah…see how that works?
I didn’t expect to hear back from him, but I did. He wrote to tell me that after he’d become widowed he’d found solace in connecting with an organization called Soaring Spirits International. He’d subsequently met his second wife through that association and recommended the group as a supportive network for me; one that offered a variety of resources for each stage of the Widowed Journey.
I did explore the Soaring Spirits Website and spotted the Widow’s Voice blog with seven contributors who share their personal stories and strategies for coping with grief week by week. I wrote to the blog’s manager and asked if I could become one of their posters. They in turn thanked me and told me that at that time, there were no openings. Once a poster signs on, they have “their day” for as long as they like. A few months later in September, however, I received an email asking if I was still interested as their Saturday poster, Bryan Martin, was signing off after two years. If you’ve ever blogged, you know it can be exhausting to post on schedule each week with fresh content.
After submitting a sample of my writing and subsequent zoom interview, I became the Saturday poster for Widow’s Voice. And, just like that, I was writing again.
See how that works?
Not long after becoming part of the WOW (World of Widowhood) I also joined a private Facebook group for those sharing that same grieving process. It is helpful to be among people experiencing the same life situations, and although everyone’s story is unique, we are united by One Thing. I find myself visiting less often these days, but I’ve made some nice connections. It’s true, everyone grieves differently, and now that I am in the “Terrible Two-Year” stage – the second year of loss, I am in new territory, warned by many that sometimes that is when the “real work” begins.
Trying to remain positive is my goal. It takes a lot of effort and energy some days. In saying recovery is day by day, sometimes it is actually hour by hour. We use the term “small steps” but what are those exactly? All I can do is share what has helped me, or what I might look into during the new year.
If you’re looking for a unique noninvasive way to heal your mind and body, I’ve found Tapping Therapy to be very helpful. While tapping on specific points on your body with your finger tips, focus on your problem or issue. When I was coping with Rich’s last four weeks of life and the world after his passing, someone told me about Tapping Therapy. It helped me immensely with my anxiety and even now I use it to reset on tough days. I encourage you to search on-line to read up on it and find a video that works for you. Please let me know if you do and how it worked for you.
So, thanks for following along while I find myself dealing with the unique challenges of “The Terrible Two-Year”. At this point-in-time, the Widowed Brain Fog has lifted and in some ways I’m just beginning the grieving process, compounded by another great personal loss last May.
“Every day’s a holiday…some holidays are better than others.” Attribution unknown. I always strive to find something positive in each day and pause to see how far I’ve come with the help of so many of you.
See how that works?
