More and more we are seeing focus on self-growth, motivation, manifestation and talk of mindset. I get the premise and I try to practice the mentality. Yes it can change your day around if you focus on the positive but there are limits. I have to share this topic with you all so you understand that sometimes when you push “your mindset” and “manifesting”, it has serious negative impact on grief.
I don’t resonate well with cherry-picked philosophies. The “sometimes this works but not all the time” kind of thing doesn’t sit well with me. Like there are rules when it works in your favor but than it’s just haphazard or a grander plan when things go wrong. Where do we draw the line? I need consistency. Manifesting? Or everything happens for a reason? It can’t be a combination of the two.
Like I said, I try to be positive and motivating as much as possible but there are rough days. Sometimes I’m told that having a tough day is ok and normal but other days I hear that I must be manifesting the difficulties. That is excruciating for me to try and understand.
“I’m being positive. I’m putting good out there. I don’t want bad things to happen.”
“Well you must be doing it wrong. You attract what you put out there.”
“So I’m causing these things? With all the positivity, I’m still to blame?”
And than comes the harshest response:
“You are the cause of what happens to you. You manifested it.”
“So let me get this right, I’m attracting the bad events. I’m actually the reason that these problems are happening”
“Yup! Simple as that.”
“So you are saying that I manifested Clayton to get sick and die? That it’s all my fault?”
“No that’s not what I mean. No that’s not how that works. Sometimes terrible things happen for no reason.”
“But you said that we manifest our lives. You can’t pick and choose. It’s either all or nothing.”
For those of us who have stayed behind after our loved ones move on, we fight daily with the deep reach of grief’s guilt. We’d do anything to have them back. We would trade anything including ourselves. Was there anything I could have done to prevent it? If only I had said something, done something different? We ask ourselves these questions everyday but the hardest guilt for me to manage is if I somehow mistakenly manifested this…
