Our son turning 18, a weekend full of social engagements, and high school open houses for our daughter have left me tired, and my house looks like it was hit by a tornado. But I feel weirdly energized.

After what felt like an agonizing season of isolation, this past week I was able to reconnect with friends, mostly widowed friends.

It had been a few months since friends from my in-person support group had gotten together, and once again, it was oh-so-refreshing. The way we can say things and share feelings without really having to explain them. The way we can tear up for each other when sharing how painful life still is. The way we can laugh so hard at the absurdities of life and death.

We had dinner and shared, and shared, and shared. I walked out of there feeling like my soul was so full, like my grief batteries had been recharged and I could go on living and possibly enjoy a few more weeks of this unexpectedly cruel life.

In my search for more community, I joined a Meetup group for widowed people in a neighboring county, close enough that I can attend some events. I found my way there because a widow friend I met at Camp Widow last year invited me.

Last Saturday night, they had a bonfire in her backyard on a perfect fall night 🪵. The crisp air, the smell of firewood, the crackling sounds, the whoosh of the wind, and the laughter of about 30+ adults and kids of all ages.

Since I didn’t know many people yet, I took the time to just be, listen, and observe. We had all lost our person, and the kids had lost a parent, yet there we were, still laughing, eating, and sharing. One of them brought a guitar, and we ended up singing songs around the fire.

I was one of the last ones to leave. My heart was so full again.

I have now double- and triple-confirmed that staying closely connected to people who have lost their person is a must for me.

Next week, I already have plans to meet friends from a virtual support group for lunch.

Never underestimate the power of community 🔋.

This kind of shared trauma bonding is a beautiful thing ❤️‍🩹.