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Staci Sulin

Big Love

Posted on: January 15, 2018 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

My smile has been gone for a long time.  I wore it effortlessly when Mike was alive.  But, now, my smile feels like an accessory I wear only on special occasions.  I know that it won’t be like this forever because I love life too much to never smile again.  But, for right now, my heart feels empty, And, I see a deficiency of joy in my eyes.

Categories: Miscellaneous

Off Kilter

Posted on: January 8, 2018 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

My memories of Mike echo off the walls of the house, yet the silence in my home is deafening.  Everything is quiet now.  Death makes your whole world go silent.  I think this is by design.  We need this noiseless environment and solitude to contemplate how we will re-create ourselves.  As we do the work of re-defining our identity we need to…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous

I’m Building my Wings on the Way Down

Posted on: January 1, 2018 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

Ringing in the new year without you is something I never want to do.  This year, or ever.  No matter how much time passes, no matter how my life changes; and no matter where I am standing on New Year’s Eve,  I know that I will always pause and think of you.  I will always want you to still be alive, here with me.  And, always, I will want to…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Miscellaneous

All is Calm, All is Bright

Posted on: December 25, 2017 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

I’ve had many silent nights since Mike died.  Nights where I had nowhere to be.  Nights that I had no one to share with.  Nights where the only sound in the house was the clock ticking obnoxiously.  On these nights, the only place I want to be is back in his arms.  I have endlessly wished to go back.  Back to a place in time where Mike…

Categories: Widowed Holidays

I can feel your arms around my Life…

Posted on: December 18, 2017 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

Today it is thirteen months and 3 days since you died.  Some moments, your death still does not feel real to me.  And, other times, the realness of your death is so apparent I feel nauseated. This is grief in all it’s unapologetic glory. In the early days when you died I couldn’t even breathe. I’d gasp for breathe and I’d rock back and forth,…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous

Who Am I ?

Posted on: December 11, 2017 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

                                                                        Life after the death of the person you love demands that you ask yourself BIG questions.  Ironically, the questions are often about life and living.  I have asked myself over and over again, Who am I now that Mike has died?  Maybe part of…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Miscellaneous

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